My grandparents had seven children, so I had five aunts and an uncle, but my third aunt impressed me most.

My grandmother gave away my third aunt who was in her teens to her blind sister as a child bride. Although the future mother-in-law was her aunt, my third aunt was dependent on others for a living after all. In those days, the child bride almost acted as a servant girl, serving as a slave for others.

When I could remember, my third aunt was over 40 years old. My grandparents were tall. My other aunts, my uncle and my father were all tall, but my third aunt was shorter compared with them and not as good-looking as other aunts. Maybe this was one of the reasons why Grandma didn't like her. Now think about it, when she was young, my aunt was malnourished, and so she didn't grow any bigger.

Every time my third aunt came to our house for visiting relatives, my mother would always bring something for her when she left. Although we were not rich at that time, Mother would also give her ticket money. I remembered that the ticket from my third aunt's house to our house was 0.5 yuan at that time. When I grew up, I learned that my third aunt's house was in a village in a valley we called "North Hills", about 15 kilometers away from our hometown.

Every time my third aunt came to our house, she would stay for a few days. At that time, when there was nothing to do in the evening, my third aunt would tell us stories happening there, mostly about wolves, which made my hair stand on end. Sleeping at night I would draw the quilt closer with fear. My third aunt’s house was at the east foot of Mount Taishan, where wild animals often haunted.

When Grandma died, my third aunt cried bitterly: "Mom, why did you give up me in the north hills?" Hearing this, I almost shed tears, and I knew my aunt was also crying for her miserable fate. That night, my third aunt and my mother talked late at night, and I nearly shed tears while listening.

When my third aunt became a child bride, she was still in her teens. She lived like a slave, sleeping in the cow trough at night which was a wooden one for feeding cattle, just enough for a child to lie in. When I was a child, I had a little partner playing hide and seek. Once, a little partner hiding in it was proud of not being found. My third aunt lay in cow trough at night, hearing the wolf's cry outside, and she trembled with fear. In winter, the cotton padded jacket worn by my third aunt was broken, and then she was beaten and scolded, someone saying it was deliberately broken by her.

My third aunt was really homesick, so she walked back to her hometown. It was more than 15 kilometers away, and she walked for four or five hours to go back home. When she got home, Grandpa was very distressed and hurriedly took out pancakes that they couldn't bear to eat for my third aunt. As she was eating, Grandma came back from outside. When she saw my third aunt, Grandma shouted and drove her away. Grandpa and Grandma quarreled, and then began to fight in the yard. Grandpa had a mild temper all his life and hardly ever got angry with anyone. That time, he was really angry for my third aunt.

My third aunt had a hard life and suffered a lot. She was about 70 when she died. At that time, I went to see my aunt in the hospital, but she was unconscious and did not recognize anyone.

I sometimes think of my third aunt, her hard life and the vicissitudes of her fate. At that time, it was difficult to support so many children, so many families would give away their children to others to support them. Maybe grandma had her own difficulties at that time.

Grandparents have died for many years. If we really want to blame, we can only blame the ruthlessness and misery of that era, as well as the difficulty and helplessness of life.

The children of my third aunt are all grown up, and some of them live a good life by their own diligence and hard work. Every year, my third aunt’s child comes to congratulate my father on his birthday. When I see my cousin living a happy life, I feel a little relieved, half for my third aunt, and half for my long restless heart.

爷爷奶奶一共生了七个孩子，所以我有五个姑姑和一个叔叔，而给我印象最深的却是我的三姑。

三姑在十多岁的时候，就被奶奶送给了她瞎眼的姐姐做童养媳，虽说未来的婆婆是自己的姨姨，可毕竟是寄人篱下。在那个年代，童养媳几乎就是当作丫鬟使，给人家当牛做马。

我记事的时候，三姑已经四十多岁了，爷爷奶奶身材高大，我其他的几位姑姑，还有叔叔和我父亲，个子都很高，可唯独三姑个子矮一些，长得也不如其他姑姑好看，或许这也是奶奶不喜欢三姑的一个原因吧。现在想来，幼时的三姑应该是营养不良，才没有长个子。

三姑每次来走亲戚，走时母亲总会给她带点东西，尽管我们那时也不富裕，还会给三姑车票钱，记得那时从三姑家到我们家车票是0.5元。长大后，我才知道三姑家是在我们称之为“老北山”的一个山沟里的村子里，距离我们老家大约有15公里。

三姑每次来我们家，总会住上几天，那时的晚上无事可做，三姑便给我们讲她那里的故事，大多是关于狼的故事，听得我毛骨悚然，晚上睡觉把被子裹得严严实实。三姑家是在泰山山脉的东麓，那里丘陵纵横，常有野兽出没。

奶奶去世时，三姑哭得撕心裂肺：“娘啊，你怎么当年把我舍在了老北山！”我也几乎落下泪来，三姑也在为自己的命运哭泣。那一晚，三姑与母亲聊到深夜，我在一边听着，险些落下泪来。

三姑去给人家当童养媳，也就十多岁，像牛马一样生活着。晚上睡在牛槽里，就是用来喂牛的木制的槽子，正好容得下一个小孩子躺在里面。儿时我有小伙伴捉迷藏，曾有小伙伴藏在里面，不被人发现还颇为得意。三姑晚上躺在里面，听者外面的狼叫声，吓得浑身瑟瑟发抖。冬天时，三姑穿的棉袄破了，受人打骂，说是故意弄坏的。

实在想家了，三姑就走着回老家去，30多里的路程，三姑走了四五个小时。回到家里，爷爷很是心疼，连忙拿出舍不得吃的煎饼给三姑吃。正吃着，奶奶从外面回来，一见到三姑，奶奶破口大骂，赶着三姑走。爷爷与奶奶争吵起来，后来还动了手，在院子里扭打起来。爷爷一生性情温和，几乎没有与人动过怒，为了三姑，那一次真的是生气了。

三姑一生过得艰难，受了不少的罪，三姑去世时也就七十岁左右。那时，我曾去医院看望过三姑，只是那时三姑已不省人事，不认人了。

我有时会想起三姑来，想起她艰难的一生和命运的多舛。在那个年代，养活那么多孩子已是很难，也有许多人家会把自己的孩子送给别人家养活，或许那时的奶奶有她的苦衷。爷爷奶奶已经去世多年，如果真的要怪罪的话，只能怪那个时代的无情和悲惨，还有生活的艰难和无助。

三姑的孩子都长大成人，有的靠着自己的勤奋和打拼也过上了不错的生活。每年我父亲生日时，三姑家的表哥来给他的舅舅祝寿，看着表哥生活得幸福，我就会感到欣慰一些，一半为了三姑，一半为了我那颗久久不能平静的心。

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