Am I Designing & Living My Best Life?

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Some people say life isn't fair and I guess they are right because of their experiences.

Life indeed doesn't give us what we ever desire or wish for.

It gives us what it wishes and expects us to either make a lime out of it or lemonade out of it, the choice is ours to do as we wish but the truth is we easily make a lime out of life than a lemonade because bad things easily come but good things take time to grow before it gets to us so, in life discipline, patience, self-love, and perseverance are also needed to be able to make lemonade, and a sweet lemonade out of life if we indeed a choice to make lemonade. If you've got none of those personalities listed or more, I bet your, life is going to make a mess out of you.

With the occurrence in my life right now, I am still trying to understand if I for one day ever wished for such life or if it is just life throwing at me what it wishes to throw at my face expecting me to make a lime or lemonade juice out of it but truthfully, at this point, it is not easy making lemonade right now.

This wasn't the life I ever planned for myself while growing up. I wanted a life where I got whatever I needed, not just financially but otherwise, I wanted a life of stability one thing I never planned for myself was serving God but fortunately, when life did not give me what I planned, I saw myself serving God even when it wasn't what I planned.

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I am not sure I am living my best life because I find myself always worried about literally everything in my life, I find myself comparing my current stage in life with those of my mate or those who are my junior in age, I am always hard on myself about my progress, in certain aspects of my life, fear for my tomorrow has become the order of the day because my today isn't what I planned, I find myself wondering why my life can not be like the other person who seems to have everything sorted out, I find myself wondering why things are not working out so easily like it is working out easily with my friends and people around me.

That was supposed to be my dream life, I tell myself, and I stand afar to watch others live the life I have always prayed and dreamed for and I ask myself,

Is there something wrong I am doing, that is making mine different?
Am I paying for my sins or are these a result of my sins?
Is God involved in making me go through these phases of life for a reason?
What do I need to do to make my life look exactly like I dreamed of?
Where did I go wrong?

Question upon questions keep coming but I have no answer to these questions because I do not know where I went wrong.

Is this just life throwing dirt on my face or is there more to this than the eyes can see or the mouth can tell?

I am working hard towards my goals and trying to achieve everything I wish I need to achieve but it still feels like I haven't done anything, it feels like I am running in a cycle. Does that even mean anything, does it feel like I am living my best life because I am more confused about my life?

This is my response to the latest Kiss, Blog Ideas For The week. from the wonderful @minimalist community by @millycf1976

Thanks for reading!!!