Baby - Justin Bieber
Have you ever felt life is being unfair to you, have you ever felt you don't deserve the pain and hurt that was meted out to you by that particular person you loved and gave your all to them? Have felt that way and even worse than that.
Nobody ever planned to go through that phase, but many find themselves in that phase we never expected and couldn't even help ourselves out of that phase because it seems difficult to do that.
You wake up one morning and realize that indeed whatever happened wasn't a dream but a reality that took place in your life when you least expected it. You still can't get a glimpse of how it all happened and what you did to have been fed with such an unexpected heartbreak with no closure.
I still don't know where I got it all wrong but then, I wished I could go back to how we met maybe I would have seen and understood the signs that we weren't going to be doing forever together, and I would have done things differently so that I won't still have to think back to how it all began.
I wouldn't say I woke up this morning angry or happy but I would say I woke up this morning a little out of place thinking about so many things especially my first and last relationship that cost me so much that I never thought I could or would give in a relationship but then I gave him too much than I should have given because I felt he loved me.
We met most strangely, and our love for each other bloomed most funnily, I thought I have found the right one and refused to see the sign because I loved him too much to accept the red flags.
The pain is still there I can feel it, the tears keep running down even when I try to be strong, the fear of being broken a second time, the doubt about everything keeps me a bay, the broken piece are still there, yet to be patched and the only thing I find myself drawn to are songs. Songs that remind me of the times spent together, songs that help console me.
Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi
Wake up every morning with the thought of trying to pick up the remaining piece of my heart and patch them together gives me more pain than I can imagine. My broken heart finding it hard to heal from that hurt, keeps me wondering how long it will take to heal, they say it is a slow step but it seems nothing is happening no matter how hard I try to get heal so I can move on from my past.
Why is it so difficult to be whole again, why is it so difficult for me to mend my broken heart? What exactly am I doing wrong in mending it?
No matter how much I try, I still go back to the days we spent together and the conversations we had, the funny memories we shared, I still find myself smiling at your pictures, and the pictures, we took together, I find myself thinking back to the days we shared intimate times and I wish I was dreaming that we are all over.
But waking up to find myself listening to these songs daily brings me back to reality, it reminds me that there is indeed a whole that is yet to be occupied since he left and never looked back, it reminds me of the closure I never got even when I deserve it, it reminds me of pains I still feel.
Arcade - Duncan Laurence & Fletcher
And many other songs that keep me occupied and sane to keep having hope even when what is left is so tiny that I am not sure I can hold on to.
What about, do you have songs that kept you occupied during your worst period? Share with me and let's look into how it helped you.