Love is the most important word in the English language -and the most confusing. Both secular and religious thinkers agree that love plays a central role in life. We are told "love is a many splendored thing" and that " love makes the world go round. Thousands of books, songs, magazines, and movies are prepared with the word. Numerous philosophical and theological systems have made a prominent place for love. And the founder of the christian faith wanted love to be the distinguishing characteristic of his followers.
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Psychologist have concluded that the need to feel loved or to be loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb a mountain, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, desert unbearable, and hardships our plight in life. The christian apostle to the Gentiles, apostle Paul, exalted love when he indicated that all human accomplishments that are motivated by love are, in the end, empty. He goes further and concluded that in the last scene of the human drama, only three (3) characters will remain: " faith, hope and love. But the greatest among all is love".
If we can agree that the word love permeates human society, both historically and in the present, we must also agree that it is a most confusing word. We use it in a thousand ways. We says " i love shawarma, " and in the next breath, " i love my mother she is the best mother so far". We speak of loving activities like swimming, skiing, hunting. We love objects like food, cars, houses, phones, iphones. We love animals like dog cat even pets snakes. We love nature like trees, grass, flowers, weather and beauty. We love people like mother, father, daugther son husbands wives friends parents. We even fall inlove with love.
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Now if all this is not confusing enough, we also used the word love to explain behaviour " i did it because i love her. That kind of explanation is given for all kind of actions. A man may involved himself in adulterous relationship and can call it love. A pastor or a preacher or you and i can call it sin. A wife of an alcoholic will definitely pick up the pieces after her husband latest episode. And will call it love, but the psychologist will call it codependency. The parent indulges the child's wishes will call it love and the family therapist will call it irresponsible parenting. What is loving behaviour ?
The purpose of this content is not to eliminate all confusion surrounding the word love, but to focus on that kind of love that is essential to our emotional health. Child psychologists affirms that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. Among those emotion needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted. With an adequate supply of affection, the love child will likely develop into a responsible adult. Without that love he/she will be emotionally and socially retarded.
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