Have you ever find yourself in a cold and lonely world where you have to take sole the responsibility of your life with no compass to help guide you and a shoulder to cry on as a young individual, It's really hard. More worse when you're very far from home and you have to stay strong as a male and first child of the family. You've to prove yourself worthy of being and be called a man, without no buts.
Have you ever feel abandoned, by the ones you always wanna be there for.
Have you ever been rejected by the ones you'll surely accept even in the lowest of their lows.
Have you ever feel so lonely even in a room full of people.
The harder you try the harder it becomes.
Have you ever feel like nobody really understand and know you, and they misunderstood what you do or say.
Have you ever feel so insecure and weak but you still have to act strong so they won't prey on your weaknesses.
Have you ever opened up to someone about your pains and losses and their response consciously, unconsciously or subconsciously makes it even more painful.
You always try to put on a happy face but behind those smiles are happy pains.
- Situations making you who you don't wanna be. When you look into the mirror you see a different person and you ask yourself who is this? Drowning in your own frustration, submerged in toxicity.
Your most trusted and loved friend, who you can do everything and anything to keep is doing everything to stay away from you. How depressing.
You're battling with an addiction you can't even tell your shadow.
Yeah no one is a saint but why do this keep happening to me?
All this, is me, this is what I'm feeling right now and I don't know what to do anymore, I'm tired, so sick of this cycle.
Or maybe I'm just tripping, maybe it's not as worse as I think it is, probably I'm overthinking things, tears can't even fall off my eyes anymore. Now feeling numb to this pain!
And at the same time pain is the only thing that feels real.
😪
Or maybe I'm the problem?