THERAPY

Another therapy is here. I was there last night and we were focusing on my University and the problem I have with my head and blocking, and panic attacks and insecurities and not believing in myself etc.
We did talk about the plan of studying and how I should menage my time but the ting is I got it all wrong. The main thing about studying 3/4 hours a day is not for me to be productive or study more because the problem I have doesnt have to do anything with my learning capability or subject but the fear and blocks and giving up I have from my fears and insecurities
So the main thing she told me how long did you sit over the book, not how productive you were or how much did you learn, just how much did you sit and read, thing, actively or not actively.
So I was not successful with that thing but I do get the point. Sit, study, try to persevere and get rewarded. So the next thing is a reward.
I have that thing of not letting myself anything because I didnt earn it, I didnt earn it because I failed, I didnt study as I know I can so I dont deserve anything. I am my enemy. SO the thing is here, persevere for the hours not for productivity, dont give up when you thing you are not doing okay, sit and try, and reward yourself for staying and not giving up even tho you didnt have successful session. Always treat yourself and me kind to yourself. And go in the circles until you success.