Me and My self Tomorrow

I write this story for you blurters but most of all I write it for myself, so that I could understand who I really am now.
Imagining myself in the future is the most difficult think to do, because I don't know what lies in my path with all uncertainties, whether it's happiness or sadness.
After what I had gone trough, I realized that nothing lasts forever in this world, even if good or worst.
What I know today I am still a pessimist, no self confident and still blaming my self for all have done. I am still struggling to bring myself to how I used to be before The storm shaking and ruined my life. I try to loving and respecting myself again, I will keep fighting so I can find myself again for the good way in the future, lucky me...I have 4 angels surrounding me with love and cares.
But I can't lie to my self, the emptiness is going deep and deeper... is this punishment??
If this is a punishment, I'm sure it will end soon because I've finished half of it... I know how to end this journey is to forgive and the most difficult is forgiving myself.

Thank God, Ya Rahman Ya Rahim....come withbig surpriced...it was a good news like a glowing light at the dark path I have...hope it is a way out to forget my sadness..and I'm very excited for new family member...

Inshaa Allah I will be grandmother in the next 8 months to go ... I hope this vacancy will be filled.

Finally I realize
I will see me at the end of this path waiting with a big smile full of gratitude and proud of myself for having my grand in my arms, I'll prays for that day.
What beautiful day...can't wait to spend those days with you my little one.
After I wrote this story, now I realize how hard rain or even strom come run to us, it will be rainbow waiting for us at the end of the path.
Dont be lonely and sad...Allah always be at by your side and make your smile come again with his own way.

Thank you blurt for allowing me to share stories about myself, now I don't feel sad anymore.
Sometime we just have to listen our self and spent time alone with her....