I think what you say is very correct:

To be married or in a relationship means that you have invested feelings for each other and therefore you should be able to talk things through if u have misunderstandings, it is said that the talks precede the guns in a fight if the situation degenarates to the extent of an abuse then there is a big problem...

Because if we talk and we are on the same page and committed to the relationship, it would hardly be possible to generate a situation of domestic violence; what happens is that we don't always know how to speak, communicate effectively, that's why it's so important to be aware of our learning and how they influence our emotions. I also think that it is very unlikely that an abuser will stop being an abuser, once that barrier is breached, it is unlikely that the abuser will turn back.