Anyway, as much as I love being on my own, my mouth ehn! I’m still being transformed by God. Knowing myself, I avoid being in situations where I could be easily be provoked and I’m fast learning the art of saying “I’m sorry”. Honestly, I struggle with resisting the urge to shalaye even when I know it might land me in trouble. In my pastor’s words, “I’m too blunt”
However, I’m learning quickly that my words have the power to affect others and there are subtle ways of dishing out the truth. Most importantly, I’ll be placed in situations where I can’t control the actions of other but I can control my actions.
This story is basically about how the Holy Spirit pushed me into doing things I would usually not do, to learn things about love (I used the word push because it was honestly a long struggle).
I had this leader in church and we didn’t see eye to eye on anything. In her defence, I was very stubborn and I had made up my mind that I wasn’t going to do anything I was not comfortable with, in my service unit. I refused to leave my comfort zone and whenever she pushed, I pushed harder. On a particular day, she lost it lol. She told me to do something and I blatantly refused. She called a round circle meeting (this basically involves everyone in the circle telling me what I did was wrong while I stood in the middle looking remorseful. If I didn’t, the talk could go on forever).
When everyone was done, I apologized (shebi it’s to say sorry). She asked me to do the same thing again and I refused. Now that I’m thinking about it, she must have been really frustrated. She said some hurtful words and I spoke back too.
Our hostels were close to each other, so we entered the same bus. The Holy Spirit kept nudging me to apologize, I asked that he nudge her too, after all she was my leader. I knew that was exactly why I should have apologized but I took out my phone to watch a movie instead.
We got to the junction of our hostels and I finally decided to apologize. She simply said okay and I murmured under my breath “na me mess up”. I went to my hostel and decided to cook one sweet food enough for just one person – rice, chicken and dodo. I was about to eat when the Holy Spirit said the food was for her. Ehn?? Holy Spirit how far now?? Let me cook another one or give her without the dodo (I love plantain). There was just silence and I knew what that meant.
After about 30 minutes of starring and the food and hoping I’ll hear something different, I finally went to drop the food. She said thank you and started eating immediately. I drank garri that night o.
The next day was a Sunday and she cornered me into doing what I had refused to do. I did it half well and I was boiling! I got to my room and started cooking again, yam, plantain and sweet potato porridge.
I finished and sat down to eat and looked at the
scriptures on my wall, Romans 12:10, 1 Corinthians 13:4, 16:14 and Romans 12: 18. I was already feeling bad when I started to receive a lecture. I shouldn’t have refused her order like that, I shouldn’t have responded to her insults and my apology was not out of love. I gave the food angry and worst of all, the opportunity I was given to serve was wasted because it was done out of anger.
I didn’t need to hear anything else, I repented (changed my mindset). I put some food in a pack and went to her room with it, I apologized and we ate the food together.
We’re still not best friends but she can’t ask me to do things for her that I won’t do willingly and the relationship is mutual.
This event happened about 2 years ago and it is just one of out of many experiences because this love walk can be hard work!
But our father is love and we know that love covers a multitude of sins. I know it’s difficult to be quiet when you flesh is telling you to say your own back and give it hot, walk out of that meeting or lash out but there’s a better way to do things- the love way. Love like your father and keep no records of wrong.
Wetin your mouth do? 😅😅
Hehehe.... It doesn't agree at all 😂