三个女人的婚姻 The Marriages of Three Women

Regarding marriage, there is an idiom in China called a marriage between families of equal social rank, which refers to the fact that the family conditions of the married couple, including social status, economic status, and cultural level, must be matched in order to be suitable for marriage. From this, it can be seen that our ancient people attached great importance to "equality" in marriage, while marriages unequal in social status are disharmonious and imperfect. In real life, the marriages of the three women I met are truly heartbreaking and make me speechless.

The first woman. Her surname is Zhang, and she is my alumnus, two levels higher than me. As both alumnus and working in the same factory, I naturally paid more attention to her. Ms. Zhang had an average appearance, an indecisive personality, and was not very intelligent. But she fell in love with a man from Labor and Management Department in the factory, who was also our alumnus. Entering a prestigious department like the Labor Department upon graduation demonstrates the abilities of the man. After all, the Labor and Management Department oversees the salaries, job arrangements, and transfers of thousands of employees. It's just that this man had a noticeable scar on his face, which was said to be caused by someone using a knife to break his face during a fight when he was young.

Ms. Zhang pursued this man crazily and ultimately succeeded, and her two sisters were also recruited into the factory as workers through this man's relationship. Ms. Zhang took over all the tasks of buying groceries, washing clothes, and cooking, while the man often drank and played cards outside, often staying up all night and keeping away from housework. Later, it was discovered that Ms. Zhang often had injuries on her face, as well as on her head and back, according to an insider. It turned out that the man had caused domestic violence.

In the last few years I stayed in the former unit, I sometimes met Ms. Zhang, who just managed to squeeze out a smile and then returned to a melancholic state. I understood, she had become a bit depressed.

The second woman. In the neighborhood, I often saw a woman in her 50s and 60s, pulling a car to buy vegetables, buying household goods in the city, and pulling water from the water station in the neighborhood. Pulling two large buckets, looking very tired, I sometimes wondered: Where is her husband? What about her children?

Later, it was discovered that she was Professor Wang's wife. Professor Wang used to be a teacher of a technical secondary school in the city. After the transfer, this school was included in Shandong Agricultural University, and Teacher Wang became Professor Wang. I have only seen Professor Wang once, white, chubby, and well dressed. A genuine intellectual who never did household chores was said to enjoy calligraphy and painting, and was also highly accomplished. Professor Wang looked very young, standing with his wife, I almost thought she was his mother or a servant hired by the family.

Professor Wang's wife obviously was illiterate, and being able to find someone like Professor Wang as a companion was quite satisfying.

The third woman. A woman from the adjacent unit, whom I call her sister-in-law, was only learned about her marital life one day when she started chatting with my wife.

She had an average appearance, liked to talk, and appeared to be a warm-hearted person. She often cleaned her husband’s car downstairs, polishing the car shiny. Apart from buying groceries, I rarely saw her again. Busy at home all day, taking care of her husband and father-in-law. However, when they felt a little unhappy, she was beaten by her husband. Once, her leg was punctured by broken glass and she received several stitches. Her husband worked at the Municipal Finance Bureau, which was a very lucrative unit, while she only retired from an ordinary enterprise with a monthly pension of less than 3000 yuan.

I suddenly understood where his husband’s confidence in domestic violence came from - he was handsome and affordable, working in the city government. The woman was unattractive in appearance, retired from the enterprise, with average wages and a weak personality.

What should a happy marriage look like? If it is the standard of the old society to say that marriage should be equal in social status, then the standard of the new era should be: You're excellent, and I'm also good. Only in this way can two people with equal strength respect and love each other, can there be a better marriage.

关于婚姻，中国有句成语叫门当户对，指婚嫁的男女双方的家庭条件包括社会地位、经济状况和文化程度等各方面都要般配，才适宜结亲。由此可见，我们的古人就很重视婚姻中的“平等”，而门不当户不对促成的婚姻则是不和谐的，也是不完美的。现实生活中，我遇到的三个女人的婚姻真的是令人唏嘘，无言可说了。

第一个女人。她姓张，是我的校友，比我高两级。既是校友，又分在了同一个企业工作，自然就关注得多一些。张女士长相平平，性格优柔寡断，也不那么聪明。可她看上了厂子里劳资科的一位男士，也是我们的校友。一毕业便进入劳资科这样有权利的科室，可以看出男士的能力，毕竟，劳资科掌管着几千职工的工资和工作的安排、调动等。只是这位男士脸上明显有一刀疤，据说是年轻时打架斗殴被人用刀破了脸相。

张女士疯狂追求，最终追到了手，而自己的两个妹妹也借着这个男人的关系被招进了工厂里当上了工人。买菜、洗衣、做饭，张女士全部包揽了下来，而那位男士经常是在外喝酒、打牌，经常通宵达旦，不问家事。后来发现张女士脸上经常有伤，知情人讲头上、背上也有，原来是那位男士家暴所致。

最后在原单位里的那几年，我有时还能见到张女士，她只是勉强挤出一丝笑意，便恢复了忧郁的状态。我明白，她已经变得有点抑郁了。

第二个女人。附近小区里，我常见一位五六十岁的妇女，拉着一个小车买菜、到市里买生活用品、到小区水站拉水。拉着两个大大的水桶，很是吃力的样子，我有时在想：她的丈夫呢？她的子女呢？

后来才知，她是王教授的夫人。王教授原是市里一所中专的老师，这所中转后被划入山东农业大学，王老师便成为了王教授。我只见过王教授一次，白白胖胖的，衣冠楚楚，；从来不干家务，地道的知识分子，据说喜欢书画，也颇有造诣。王教授看起来很是年轻，与他的夫人站在一起，我几乎以为那是他的母亲或者家里雇佣的一位佣人。

王教授的夫人明显没有多少文化，而能够找到王教授这样的人才为伴侣，算是心满意足了。

第三个女人。隔壁单元的一位女士，我称呼她为嫂子，有一天她与我妻子聊了起来，我才知道了她的婚姻生活。

她长相一般，喜欢说话，一看就是个热心肠的人。常见她在楼下擦车，把自家男人的车擦得光亮。除了买菜，很少再见到她。整日里在家忙碌，照顾丈夫和公公，稍不如意，便遭受丈夫的毒打，有一次腿被打碎的玻璃扎伤，缝了几针。她丈夫在市财政局工作，这是一个很有油水的单位，而她只是一般企业退休，每月退休金不到3000元。

我忽地明白了他男人家暴的底气来自哪里——长得风流倜傥，在市政府工作，也不差钱；而女的长得其貌不扬，企业退休，工资一般，性格懦弱。

美好的婚姻该是何样子？如果说门当户对那是旧社会的标准，那么新时代的标准应该是：你好，我也不差。唯有此，两个实力相当的人互敬互爱，才会有美好的生活。