我的自卑与妻子的自信 My Inferiority Complex and My Wife's Confidence

The character of my wife and I is almost completely opposite. Outgoing and optimistic, my wife is carefree and confident all day. And I am introverted, sentimental, concerned about the country and the people, with an inferiority complex. Based on the experience of my wife and I when we were young, I realized how far-reaching the influence of environment and family on the formation of a person's character.

My wife has no tall figure, no good looking and no higher education, but where does her self-confidence and optimism come from? Although I am handsome, gentle and highly educated, why am I so inferior and sad?

When my wife was born, my father-in-law had been cast as a rightist and sent to the countryside. Although she grew up in the countryside, her parents were both teachers, so my wife had a carefree childhood and a sense of superiority. In the 1960s and 1970s, the countryside was very poor. Both father-in-law and mother-in-law were teachers with a fixed income, which was much better than the life of rural people.

At school age, my wife went to school with her parents. Truly the teacher's children seemed to have a natural sense of superiority. Even the bad guys in the class dared not provoke the teacher's children. My wife occupied more than half of the desk, and the little boy or girl at the same table didn't dare to say anything.

This is my wife's childhood. The view formed in her young heart is that her family is superior with nothing to worry about. This is the basis for forming self-confidence, and over time the confident and optimistic character is formed.

However my childhood was completely different from my wife. Like most rural children, I experienced difficulties and hardships. When I was a child, I just barely made a living. Even today I can't forget the scene of my mother borrowing money from others. I was afraid that the dilapidated earth house would collapse in the strong wind and storm. No one will help you, and you can only rely on your own efforts. Even when I went to technical secondary school, I didn't have a decent dress.

All this has become the driving force of my future efforts, but it has also become the root of my inferiority and sensitivity.

Everything a person suffers when he or she is young will be branded with deep marks on his or her young heart, which will immerse into the skin and form a character that is difficult to change all his or her life.

我与妻子的性格几乎是完全相反的，妻子性格外向，属于乐天派，整日里无忧无虑的，自信乐观；而我性格内向，多愁善感，有点忧国忧民，还有点自卑敏感。综合我与妻子幼时的经历，方才明白，环境和家庭对一个人性格的形成有着多么深远的影响。

妻子没有高挑的身材，没有高颜值，更没有高学历，可她的那种自信乐观是从哪里来的呢？尽管我相貌堂堂，文质彬彬，也有高学历，可为何我是那样自卑而忧伤呢？

妻子出生时，岳父已被打成右派下放到农村里去了，尽管在农村里长大，但父母都是老师，妻子的童年也是无忧无虑，而且还很有优越感。上世纪六七十年代的农村可谓穷困得很，岳父岳母都是老师，有着固定的收入，与农村人的生活比起来简直是好了许多。

到了上学的年龄，妻子便跟着父母在学校里上学，老师的孩子似乎天生有一种优越感，就被人羡慕，即使是班里的坏孩子也不敢招惹老师的孩子。妻子占了书桌的一大半，同桌的那个小男孩还是小女孩都不敢吱声。

这就是妻子的童年，在她幼小的心灵里形成的观点就是家境优越、高人一等、凡事不用发愁。这就是形成自信的基础，久而久之，便形成了自信乐观的性格。

我的童年与妻子就不一样了，地地道道的农村孩子，像大多数农村孩子一样，经受了艰难和困苦。小时候，虽不至于饿着肚子，但仅是勉强糊口而已。母亲四处向人家借钱的情景，至今也忘不掉。担惊受怕，生怕那时那个破旧的土屋在狂风暴雨中塌掉。冷暖自知，没有人会帮你，只能靠自己的努力。即使上了中专，还没有一件像样的衣服。

所有这一切都成了我日后努力的动力，不过也成了我自卑敏感的根源。

一个人幼时遭受的一切，会在他（她）幼小的心灵上烙上深深的印痕，这种印痕会浸入肤里，进而形成终生都难以改变的性格。