A question I have been avoiding because I have felt it unimportant to explain.
The reason why I do not think it important is because"names" are not the real us. It is nothing more than a label. Yet we do the strange bizarre thing in telling people who we are by just giving a name that was given to us at birth, then repeated a million times over to us and told that, that is who we are. No wonder so many people, including myself, were confused when we ask our selves seriously, "who am I not?".
Yayo, from my native language can mean grandpa. Or ancient one. Like male ancestor. Yayo has also been used to say instead of Gerardo. Which in my case, it was what I was called as a younglin due to my cousins unable to pronounce "my" name.
I put quotes around "my" because in reality, I didn't invent it for me. I didn't make any claims for it. When it was put onto paper and became property which then became lost property, the central bank claimed it. Now that is what happens yo every birth certificate around the world. It becomes a stock market commodity.
Gerardo means warrior. Fits me just well. I am a warrior, on the web mostly. I fight to search for the truth and incline towards living my life as truthfully as I can whilst battling over the mental ills I have picked up due to some very traumatic experiences.
I am sane.... most times. I admit I have my moments of irrationality (= insanity) as most people do. We all have that reactive mind that bases itself on pain as its grounds of conduct. It is normal to a degree.
A person that uses the reactive mind mostly will find themselves on the lower end of survival, in terms of mental health that is. I do not see myself that way. I have discovered much about myself and if I see an alien of sort I wont be reacting. So come on and lets take another ride to space eh?
Ancient Warrior = Yayo Gerardo
Opinion: We are all ancient in my perspective. Sometimes people want to trace their blood lines to ancient times but again, we are not our blood. Our more real selves, is not something physical in the universe. (your more than welcome to dispute that, I base myself from experience and self realization)
There really isnt much to say about this name tbh. I chose it not out of deep want for it. It was just a randome thought and convinient.
End of part one
///
I am going to say a few randome things that may or may not make sense to you.
I love you. I hate you. Forgive me. Go fuck yourself. Come back. Go jump off a cliff. Come sky diving as a bird with me in a dream.
///
Part 2
They called me the devil
I don't care for the way I look. My main concern is putting food on the table. Whether its for another human or a stray dog I do it for you. I read many a book. And honestly it all seems like one giant fable. I try to see my image in the mirror but all I see is blue.
Get a clue when I am coming for your soul. I know how much it was to cross. Told you I would not give a warning for my arrival.
You mistook me for the adversary and now you had to pay the toll. I extend my hand to help you out but you still think I am your rival.
I entered your crown. I took your face. I moved your limbs and cut my hand. A drop of blood into the pool of blood of my own previous family.
Smile and do not frown. He was no longer in place. I am here now to make a new stand. For the rest of this life, I will live it happily.
Even without you by my side, I will give a new stride. I do not plan to hide. Observed, under a ever lasting high tide. I learned to breathe in the deep and wide.
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