Cooking Soup without Skill

Years ago while still in school, I visited my uncle and his family in western part of Nigeria. As it is customary for visitors like me I had to make an impression that will make my hosts dip down into their pocket in giving me pocket money when travelling back.

I wake up early every morning to help prepare the kids for school and also fix their breakfast. I didn't know my uncle was observing me until one day he called me and said Dayo you are really doing great work. His words made me to be proud of myself.

Uncle also told me he observed I can cook and he will like to cook for his wife the next day in other to mark International Men's Day. He told me he wanted to make Oha soup(African Rosewood plant) for the wife being her best and asked me to make a list.

It was not yet up to 2 months since my Oha soup (African Rosewood plant) Cooking experience that the leaf was floating on water like flying boat. There was no opportunity for me to start explaining that I don't know how to cook that particular soup. My heart was heavy, but then my dream that night was how I prepared an mouth watering oha soup. I took consolation in that even though I know my dreams don't come through.

The next morning he drove his wife to work and children to school and we headed to the market. From my list we bought goat meat, cocoa yam, Onions, palm kernel, maggi, onga, cray fish, stock fish etc.

I made sure we bought up to a painter of cocoa yam to avoid stories. Cooking started late afternoon. In no particular order, the pot welcomed stock fish, meat, crayfish, pepper, Onions, Onga stew, Benny Chicken and finally Kitchen Glory to glorify the pot.

It was busy hours of hard work and sweating. We gisted as we waited for the soup to be ready. At a point we started perceiving the smell of Stew and that of Soup at the same time.

Our neighbour has started killing us with the smell of her stew, but we are already showing them that we can do more than them, my uncle said jokingly as he tastes a small quantity of the stew.

I noticed his face immediately changed like someone that tasted alomo bitters. He asked me if it was stew or soup that I was cooking. It was then that it dawn on me that Kitchen glory was already doing its job. I looked at him to remind him that both of us were cooking it together.

We were still pondering on what to do when I remembered we didn't buy the Oha leaf. When I mentioned it to my uncle, he drew closer the kitchen stool, sat down and started fanning himself. I sat down in the kitchen floor close to him so we can find a solution after all "anyukoo amiri onu, ogbaa ufufu".

I allowed the devil to use me and I managed to convince him that the stage we were, we can either turn our pot either into a pot of soup or a pot of stew but since the content of our pot already has a touch of both, we could mix little oha soup with Ugu. I even told him there are people who eat rice with soup and likewise swallow with stew in other to convince him more.

I am a bit better than my Uncle in terms of cooking. My suggestion made all the sense to him, but I knew I was leading him astray and i was thinking we can still made amend

Having reached a consensus, we agreed he should look after the pot while I rushed out to get small Oha leaf and Ugu.

My Aunt kissed my uncle in front of me and handed him a hamper full of different gift items when we went to pick her from work. While I was very worried, my uncle was busy gallivanting and receiving hugs and kisses from his wife. If only my aunt knew he married someone who is a disaster in the kitchen.

Instead of mitigating the damage we had done, Uncle came back and invited the neighbours to come to his house to have dinner. We set the dining table and brought out the rice, semo and the soup/stew that we had prepared.

I didn't join them in the dining table but I noticed, they were eating as if it was a burial reception Hall, we contributed our own quota in the Kitchen. After that urgly experience i don't place a bet when am not certain of the Outcome.

Special thanks to
@chibuzorwisdom