家庭教育（十六）：对孩子的爱不止于温暖的阳光 Family education (16) : love of children is more than warm sunshine

I saw a netizen wrote a piece about eating mango: since she had a baby, she can only eat mango core, give the pulp to the child to eat!

Netizens commented, with many arguing that such self-touching is boring and children don't need you to do it. I am also firmly opposed to doing so, for nothing else, it is very detrimental to the growth of children! Originally, good things should be shared with everyone, if parents are used to selfless dedication, it is easy to encourage children's selfishness, the world is arrogant!

I remember a little thing. I ordered fresh milk for my son at a dairy store. Once, the owner wanted to close the store early and couldn't wait for my time off. I will call her mother-in-law, let her go to get milk, because I also want to drink a bottle, when calling, she told her mother-in-law to take two bottles.

She almost blurted out, "One bottle is enough! The baby can't drink two bottles!" So I told her, "I want it, too." My heart is calm, mother-in-law has no other meaning, she is the kind of selfless dedication type, children like to eat, she will not even look at a glance, all left to the children. Something like fresh milk, she subconsciously thought only children needed to drink.

The two generations have different ideas and we don't interfere with each other on this point. I will consciously let my son know that I also want to eat good food, can not give you all! If I want to eat anything, I will eat it. Over time, I discovered that my son would share delicious food with me, but not with his grandmother -- because he realized she never ate his snacks, there was no need to share.

Be nice to the child, but not too nice. The seedlings need not only the warm sunshine, but also the gentle breeze and drizzle.

看到一个网友写了一则关于吃芒果的小事：自从有了娃，她只能吃芒果核了，把果肉都让给孩子吃！

网友们议论纷纷，许多人认为这种自我感动是无聊的，孩子根本不需要你这样做。我也是坚定地反对这么做的，不为别的，这对孩子的成长是很不利的！本来，有好东西应该大家一起分享，如果父母无私奉献惯了，很容易助长孩子的自私自利，天下唯我独尊！

我想起来一件小事。我在奶店给儿子订了鲜奶，有一次，奶店老板要早早关门，没法等到我下班的点了。我便给婆婆打电话，让她去拿奶，因为我也想喝一瓶，打电话的时候，便叮嘱婆婆拿两瓶。

婆婆几乎是脱口而出：“一瓶就够了！孩子喝不上两瓶！”于是我告诉她：“我也想喝。”我的内心波澜不惊，婆婆没有别的意思，她自己就是那种无私奉献型的，孩子喜欢吃的，她连看都不会看一眼，全部留给孩子。像鲜奶这种东西，她潜意识里觉得只有孩子才需要喝。

两代人的观念不同，在这一点上我们互不干涉。我会有意识地让儿子知道，好东西我也想吃，不可能全给你！不管什么东西，只要我想吃，一定会吃。时间长了我发现，儿子会跟我分享好吃的，但不会跟他奶奶分享—因为他发现奶奶从来不会吃他的零食，也就没有分享的必要。

要对孩子好，但是，也不能太好。小苗成长不光需要温暖的阳光，也需要微风细雨。