免費圖源:Max Bender on Unsplash
A female Chinese teacher in the tutoring industry once told us during class: “I often take a taxi at night by myself. It’s terrible. There is no one on the road. Only me and a strange man are in the car. Sora was thinking about me. I just kept chatting with him and talking non-stop, so that his head couldn't work at all, so there was no time to think about me."
Over the past two decades, I still remember these words still fresh. Not only did I never forget them, but I often practiced them.
Not only when I take a taxi, but every worker, master, plumber, or even an employee of a cable TV or telecommunications company who comes to my house for construction, I use this method to spend the awkward time with only two people.
Because of this, I inexplicably learned a lot of knowledge of those industries, just like digging for treasures, constantly exploring new treasures from them, because I always keep asking questions, constantly guiding the other person to speak, and some waiting The masters who have worked in my house for a long time will tell me about their sons and daughters, and even which brand of air-conditioning is better.
I am naturally the best listener, because I have to listen to them very attentively so that I can guide them to speak more, why should this line be connected to that line, and every step of the waterproofing project construction, I will do everything. As soon as I ask and understand, they are usually happy to share their profession. After all, these boring fortifications are not interesting to most people, especially women who promise not to be interested, so they will always chat with me enthusiastically.
Until a certain day~~
As usual, I opened the chatterbox to spend this awkward time with strangers. After half an hour, this cool man spoke up~~
"Are you at home alone?"
Yay? This question is too sensitive, right?
Lonely man and widow, I am a woman again, this strange man actually asked me this question? The nerves in my whole body are tense!
"Why ask?" I gave a faint smile, pretending to be calm and relaxed.
"Because I see you as if no one can chat with you..."
"Why do you think so?" I looked at him with a puzzled look.
"Because you have been talking to me as soon as I entered the door, and never stopped. It seems that you usually have no chance to talk to people, and no one will listen to you." He looked at me sympathetically.
Puff~~
I almost burst into laughter on the spot...
It turns out that the methods that I thought were to prevent the other person from having time to think about me were all due to my loneliness and loneliness in the eyes of this man?
It’s been a long time since this sentence of his has passed, and I have always kept it in my heart like I remembered that sentence of the Chinese teacher, and used it as a joke.
"He should think you are too noisy and talk too much!"
Yes, I feel the same way too.
But although this is a bit annoying, the next stranger who walks into my house, I will still be happy to talk to him constantly, this seems to be the result of long-term self-training.
Don't you know how to spend an awkward time alone with a strange man?
Maybe you can also learn from me><
有個補教界的國文女老師曾在上課時告訴我們一段話:「我常常一個人晚上搭計程車,太可怕了,路上都沒人,車裡就只有我跟一個陌生男子,為了不讓對方有空對我動歪念,我就是一直找他聊天說話,一直說個不停,讓他的腦袋瓜根本無法運轉,就沒空對我動歪腦筋了。」
這段話,過去了二十幾年,我還是記憶猶新,不只不曾忘記,還常常身體力行。
不只坐計程車時用,只要每一個到我家施工的工人、師傅、水電工甚至是裝有線電視或電信公司的員工,我都是用這種辦法來度過只有兩人空間的尷尬時光。
因為這樣,我莫名奇妙的學會了很多那幾個行業的知識,就像挖寶一樣,不斷的在他們身上探取新的寶藏,因為我總是不斷的提問,不斷的引導對方說話,有些待在我家工作時間比較長的師傅們,連自己家的兒子女兒的大小事,甚至家裡裝的冷氣品牌哪種比較好等等等都會告訴我。
我自然是個最佳的聆聽者,因為我要非常專心的聽他們說話,才能引導他們繼續說更多的話,連這條線為何要接那條線,防水工程施工的每一步驟,我都會一一詢問並瞭解,而通常他們都會很樂意分享他們的專業,畢竟這些無聊的工事,一般人根本沒興趣,尤其是女人保證不會有興趣,所以他們總是會和我聊得興致盎然。
直到某一天~~
我一如往常的打開話匣子,來度過這段和陌生人相處的尷尬時光,過了半小時之後,這個酷酷的男人開口了~~
「妳平時都一個人在家嗎?」
耶?這個問題實在太敏感了吧?
孤男寡女的,我又是一個女人家,這個陌生男人竟然問我這個問題?我全身的神經都繃緊了!
「為什麼這麼問?」我露出淡淡的微笑,假裝氣定神閒的模樣。
「因為我看妳好像沒人可以陪妳聊天說話的樣子......」
「為什麼你會這麼覺得?」我一臉納悶的看著他。
「因為打從我一進門妳就一直跟我說話,都沒停過,好像平常妳都沒機會可以跟人說話,也沒人會聽妳說話。」他有點同情地看著我。
噗~~
我差點當場爆笑出來......
原來那些我自以為是不讓對方有空對我動歪念的辦法,在這男人眼中看來竟都緣於我的寂寞與孤單?
他的這句話,事過境遷很久了,我也像記住那國文老師那句話一般,一直都記在心上,拿來當笑話講。
「他應該是覺得妳太吵,話太多了!」
是啊,我也深有同感。
可雖然這樣有點惹人煩,但下一個走進我家的陌生人,我依然會很樂於跟他不斷的聊天說話,這似乎已經是長期自我訓練下來的結果。
你不知如何度過和一個陌生男子獨處時的尷尬時光嗎?
也許你也可以學學我的辦法><
@lovequeen Thank you for sharing this story, it is not uncommon, I actually do the same thing when I take an uber etc. I guess you are correct it is the result of long-term self training for women of all walks of life.
I am very glad that you like my sharing. As a woman, in addition to long-term self-protection training, I think the more important thing is the change of opinion, which can make myself live more freely and happily.
If this is also in line with the topic, I think I can share a little more on this in the future, and I hope everyone will like it.
I am very happy to have such a space to share some women's views and stories, thank you again.