The question, should a Seminarian date a lady? has continued to bother me.
After several attempts to dodge this question I had to confront it with my head rather than doing so with my heart. I have always stated clearly that dating is the prelude to marriage. Dating is not for fun, it is with an intention to ascertain the possibility of ending up together as man and wife. Dating for fun is a waste of time. There are two vocations that are ordained by God but are intrinsically in a sort of parallel motion. They are different but correlated. Marriage gives birth to young men who become priests and priests make for a sacramental union of matured man and woman. These vocations are: the vocation to the priesthood and the vocation to married life.
In both, there is a demand of COMMITMENT and SINCERITY
Seminary formation is the period of preparing the young man to commit himself sincerely to God, through his pastoral activities in the church (in a sense through the church as the bride of Christ). In the same way, young persons who are preparing to enter into marriage are expected to prepare themselves during the periods of dating to be able to commit themselves sincerely to one another. And ultimately commit themselves together as a couple, unreservedly to God.
Now if one who is preparing himself to commit himself to God (through the Church) decides to also commit himself to a lady, there would definitely be a tension created. He either moves sincerely towards God (the Church) or towards the lady. If he decides to do both, he looses the sense of sincerity in either sides. He is either dishonest with God or with the girl. If the lady discovers that he is insincere, then break up sets in.
In other words, it is is practically impossible to commit oneself sincerely to both sides.
In practical terms, the times in both sides are different, the lifestyle in both sides are different. The lady might decide to go to the swimming pool on Easter Triduum, This definitely would not be possible for the seminarian, if he does grant this, he would be doing it at a great risk, and thus, loosing the sincerity.
The lady might decide to get a deep hug ad perhaps a peck from her supposed boyfriend on the roadside, this would certainly be impracticable for the seminarian. Thereby, loosing the commitment he is expected to have for the lady.
Therefore, in practical terms the answer to the above question is NO.
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