We should have not gone there ...
Fear and insecurity will never find peace .
As in man and woman starting a little family .

Let me deliberately use insult for what I think is weak.

I find it weak when a man (or a woman), disappointed in their expectations, resigns themselves to intimate long term coexistence and public coexistence in the form of the bodies that govern a society.

It is weak when he flees from his duties and cites the wickedness of others as the reason for this.

It is weak if a man has done no service and, if he has done no service of his own, belittles the service of others.

If he does NOT have an intimate long-term relationship with a woman/ his own child out of disappointment and if, because he is so disappointed and demoralised, he takes refuge in loneliness and thus also gives up his public existence.

If he says that there are no women worth building a committed relationship with and if he chooses instead to be a single man for the rest of his life, I say he is a weak man. If he seeks only for weak women, he is weak himself.

If he downgrades his own work in civil society up to that point because he thinks he can't make a difference anyway, I call that weak. If a man thinks that turning his back on both intimate and public life is an achievement born of self-worth, I say it is not.
What is a man who seeks not being a father, who seeks no responsibility for wife and child?

What is a man who has neither forged bonds with his blood relatives nor sees any value in what he has practiced as his profession? Remaining integrated in civil society is an achievement, not because it is easy to do one's job under constantly challenging circumstances, but because it is difficult to master the challenges. Staying is therefore more sensible than leaving. It is more sensible to commit than to cut ties.

A man is a man if he sees his departure from intimate and civil existence as something that should enable him to return to it. But if that is not his intention, if he does not intend to return home (to commitment, that is) from his walkabout, why practice survival, why endure the hardships? For what and for whom? To wait there, in isolation, for the end?

A man is a man when he passes on what he has learned to his son and to the sons of others, when he is not a father. If you have learned something that you think is worth teaching to others, then do it.

If a man does none of these things, he is a sad figure.
So is a woman.

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Now, since I cannot judge you, and since I cannot possibly know your innermost life and experiences and future intent, I said at the beginning, I deliberately use the style of insult.
Do you plan a family, do you have children?

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DK? ,. Norway , took 30 hours from Amsterdam by train and ferry .

Sorry, I was confused about your whereabouts since how you expressed it was a bit unclear to me.