Jealousy is a feeling that is normal in different areas of life such as friendship, career, and especially romantic relationships. In romantic relationships, jealousy is very common because partners are liable to feel a certain way when their partner is spending too much time with another friend or you're not cool with the fact that your partner is still keeping in touch with their ex. But, jealous becomes unhealthy when it starts to override your emotions and create constant issues between you and your partner.
The issue of jealousy in a relationship is not something that is meant to be treated with "I don't care" attitude. If you do, it will definitely grow into more serious threatening problems for your relationship. I have read about a woman stabbing her husband while sleeping because she was jealous of the way he treats other women at the expense of their relationship. On a subtle note, so many relationships have ended due to jealousy coupled with insecurity issues in relationships. There is a need to understand how to manage or avoid being overly jealous in relationships.
Like I pointed out earlier that is a norm to feel jealous of your partner's closeness or attention towards their family, friends, especially of the opposite sex. In some cases partners get jealous of excessive use of gadgets like phones, video games, laptops etc. This is because a partner that is fond of paying too much attention to these things would have little or no time for their partner. This could give rise to jealousy in relationships.
Jealousy is simply an inner fear of whether you are valued, loved or worthy to be with who you are. It is that point when you question yourself to be sure if you are occupying the right space in your partner's heart. Jealousy can also be caused by low self-esteem, that is, when a partner is threatened by the supposed beauty, wealth, charisma of the person their partner is spending time with. They may be scared that they are not as fulfilled, beautiful or presentable as the other person which instigate severe jealousy.
The common cause of jealousy is the dishonesty and untrustworthy behavior of your partner. Jealousy can arise when your partner is a constant cheat or involves himself or herself in activities that promotes mistrust such as flirting with other people, keeping late nights and answering phone calls at odd hours in suspicious tones. There is no human being that genuinely loves his partner that will not get jealous seeing him or her talking or holding another person (of the opposite sex) in a questionable manner. The level of jealousy is also heightened when the supposed relationship of your partner with someone else has that element that is missing in your own relationship.
Jealousy can be disastrous if it takes the center stage in your life and so many things would be destroyed even before you know it. So, how do you stop being jealousy in your relationship?
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The first thing you need to do is to identify the reason why you are jealous. Ask yourself these questions:
- is it my partners behavior?
- is my own insecurities?
- is it due to past experiences in my previous relationship?
- is it due to what someone told me about my partner?
You'd be able to get a clear view of the reason why you are jealous if you answer these questions and more that pop up in your head. If you realize that your partner is spending more time with someone else or thing than he spends with you then you may sit and discuss the issue with him or her. The two of you can work out a solution that works perfectly for you.
Speak up when you are feeling jealous to your partner so that they will know the exact way you are feeling. If issues about jealousy are not talked about but ignored it may lead to fresh problems that may take longer time to solve. Speak about it with your partner and hopefully they will be willing to reason with you and put an end to the source of your jealously.