Being selfish or being humane in family life, which is more important?

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In family life, I have seen many sick wives serving healthy husbands and children. But many healthy husbands have seen very few serving their sick wives.
Most of the working mothers in our society prepare breakfast, lunch and then go to office. Come in the evening, prepare dinner and go to bed at one o'clock, then get up at five o'clock in the morning. However, working men get up a little later in the morning than women and stay somewhat relaxed even after returning from office because they don't have to do any other work in the family.
Moreover, the life of stay-at-home moms is also more complicated, as there is a lack of economic independence and sometimes respect.
Also, when some men are in financial trouble, their wives don't want to understand it, they fuss and they don't want to understand the husband's mind for various reasons because they can't think about anything in a big way when they get into married life but often behave a bit selfishly and petty!
Therefore, if we can understand each other's affairs even if we go beyond the limits of this work in family life, then that is humanity. When a wife comes from outside, someone gives her a chance to rest before going into the kitchen to eat, or if someone takes care of a sick wife, it would be a great act of sincerity.

We don't understand humanity because we are not taught it from childhood. Rather, I have seen some mothers serving their children on the contrary. But if empathy or sympathy can be taught to others from a young age, then when people grow up, beyond their own interests, people can understand the suffering of others or what others need at this moment.
I asked the question, but many did not understand the question, and one even wanted to abuse in very harsh language, so I gave the answer myself.