I am feeling this weird thing on my stomach, some kind of funny discomfort. When things like this happens I just do not want to do anything else but maybe sleep it off and skip the hours of having to endure it.
Pain and discomfort is just a part of my life but the pain that I have is different, at least I am some sort of improvement which I do pray that it will continue so that I will be able to live normally again.
One of my goals in life is to never to take my Cinacalcet again so that I could regain my appetite back. I had been suffering from appetiteloss for so many years now, 2 and a half years actually and I just have to trade that off with curing my joint pains because hyperparathyroidism is really one of the worst conditions a person could ever have.
In my case it gets complicated a bot because I am also a dialysis patient even though based on the chest x-rays and even CT-scan that I had it says that I have no heart enlargement which is a good sign that I might be eligible for a possible parathyroidectomy but it has to be put aside for now because of the CoViD pandemic and that I have not much funds for my disposal particularly if there would be post-operation complications in which I also have to be ready to patch it up with money as it would mean another expense for sure.
It is just hard to indulge myself on my medical aspirations and then worry about the expense later. I really do not want to trouble anyone else for my needs which is why I just have to make sure that I am covered in all fronts before proceeding to the next step.
My plans had been holding for too long and there is more than a big chance that I could not ever reach them but it is better to set my sights up because I am still not losing hope to alleviate my situation and now that I am seeing some progress about my situation maybe soon I will see more improvement beyond my expectations.
There is still a relatively excitement in my life despite of all the tragedies and frustrations in my life so maybe with a little bit of prayer, luck, and mercy from God I will soon have a bigger break for that normality that I am longing for all these past years.