Today once again I wasn't able to finish my treatment session because forty-five minutes before the scheduled end of treatment time I am already feeling the telltale signs of an impending blood pressure crash but I just tried to endure it and even tried to suck on a candy believing that it will help but unfortunately it probably initiated the inevitable BP crash that I was so prayerfully avoiding and yet it happened again.
Prior to me treatment session my blood pressure reads 130 Systolic, after I got hooked-up it went down one notch to 120 Systolic. So I got worried that I might get another BP problem once again which actually what happened again so I am really not amused by that since I am already doing what I can to get the best treatment possible and yet things like this happens.
About half an hour before the supposed scheduled termination time my vision is already dimming and I am just close to a shock, I alerted my nurses and my BP reads 80, they mitigated and I felt a bit better but not completely then after a while my vision again is dimming and my guts already is already doing a revolution and I am literally close of soiling myself literally, it made me get scared as I might get a cardiac arrest if I continue to endure it any minute more, it is not good so I just have to tell my nurses again.
My blood pressure reads 60/40 so they just decided to terminate my dialysis session. It is beyond my control so I have to just look at the positive aspect that at least I had my needed dialysis anyway and that is what is important.
I really am out of options since I already am doing a desperate measure of taking high dose of Caffeine so that my blood pressure would not crash and yet it does. Well I think that this is just the complication of being in dialysis for nineteen years and in fact I am already due to die but still I am like a Volkswagen Beetle car that still goes on and on and on.
My body it seems is too fragile and yet it still endures. It could well be a divine intervention and I like to believe it to be like that but this also could be a curse for me too but again I can't remember what kind of sin I did to ever deserve this type of life that I am experiencing because depending on how you look at my life I could be either be blessed or cursed and I really want to believe the former.