I am not fed, bathed, clothed, and ready to go for my session today. I am scheduled at the second set of patients that will get the needed treatment at 10:30 AM. It is a very good schedule because it is not too early nor too late, just right so that we will not get up so early in the morning or will go home late at night.
Sometimes before I would get scheduled for a third or even fourth set so we will have to go home late at night and my parents would not like that because it just disturbs their sleeping schedules especially for my mother who would get to bed early at night while my father gets a trouble in driving at night because of his already poor vision.
But for myself I am okay to be put at any schedule because I do not even follow my body's own schedule, I would eat whenever I want to or sleep whenever I want to. It is just I have to consider other people like my parents because I do not want to cause them any more disturbance in their own lives.
I am just disheartened that I have to drag my parents with my unfortunate situation, I am actually fed-up in going for dialysis, it is just I am terrified to die a lingering death and that is why I kept on going for my dialysis over and over again.
Maybe in the near future I will make my parents get a break in ever caring for me when cryptos would perform better but that is still in a plan until things get some realization then I will just do what is best for us here in the house even though I am also apprehensive in hiring people to care for me but maybe that is inevitable since my parents will not be forever be able to care for me if I would live longer than I would expect.
Anyway I am still with my fight for my life and I am happy that I am getting some grounds which could be a sign of a better future if God wills it. My only prayer to God is to give me more time so that I can make a difference not only for my life but for the people around me, may God help me.
