The Wallflower: Today I Painted my Soul

Hey, you!
Yes, you dear, the 17-year old shy girl who walked into the party in a tedious long dress, with a timid smile that was left unnoticed. How have you been?

The night was young. Did it still keep on press rewinding in your mind that cheerful night that has written an indelible ink in the young and intimidated soul of "you"? It was so romantic that you could still vividly remember the cheerful smiles on everyone's faces you saw that night. The music played its perfect rhythm for the feet to find the most graceful steps. The night was loud and cheerful with glancing eyes illuminating the darkness. Every gorgeous girl has their partner swaying their way sweetly to the dance floor. Everyone has someone to hold a hand with when the music started to play and romantically filled the air. Everyone was enjoying the night and happy...except you.

Yes dear, I know it was you. Do you still remember it? How from a blissful smile on your face suddenly turned into a pathetic frown? You came to attend the Prom for that one magical night and forever question yourself, why did it not spark? Like any other girl that night, you were a flower but why did it not bloom? The petals fell scattered on the floor and shattered into miserable pieces. All that was there were fragments of thorns that have left you a heart-wrenching and humiliating scar that you kept all these years. You were left sitting awkwardly alone in the corner, unseen. You wanted to weep because you felt you were so left out but you still managed to pretend you were okay so all you did was a pathetic sigh. You looked at them in enviousness and questioned the universe on why "no one ever offered you a dance"? Was something wrong with you? Was it with the way you dress or with how you looked that night? I guess it was the latter. I know you were jealous of those pretty girls who astoundingly shimmer that night. Were the stars faultlessly aligned that night for you not to brightly shine too?

Do you still remember how disheartened you were that night and went home alone broken? You even discretely cried yourself a river but you never shared it with anyone because you were so embarrassed to open up. Why would they even care anyway? You even pitied and hated yourself for that and hopelessly wish you were beautiful.

Or have you outgrown all those teenage feelings because they were insecurities too degrading and heartbreaking to remember?

Maybe you were too young to explain how terrible you felt back then. But I wish that night, your soft heart was not hardened by disappointment bearing in mind life was never that fair.

Hey dear, may I sit beside you?
There are just words that I was holding back and I wanted to tell you all these years. Just a moment. Will you lend me an ear? I wish I have told you the things I thought could have made you feel better then.

That it was okay to cry.

It won't make you less of a person if you cry. You'll be going through even a lot of heartaches and rejections but believe me, you'll get through it all anyway. You will be the that strong and determined person that you never thought you were. You'll even learn to love yourself even more.

You are beautiful.

There is more to you than meets the eye. Do not let other people or anything define or change your perspective on what you think true beauty is. You have a beautiful soul and that will be the torch that will brightly guide you as you wander through this intricate life.

Padayon.

Life may seem complicated and ugly sometimes. Yes, it will hurt. But don't let it stop you from walking toward the realization of your dreams. You'll eventually get there, here rather, just keep on going.

Paint your beautiful soul.

The perks of being a wallflower are that you're going to show the world, that one heartbreaking Prom Night will not stop you from believing that "you are beautiful" inside and out. A masterpiece that will forever replace your empty wall of insecurities with a colorful mural of " self-love" and confidence.

Stop crying now, dear. Everything will be eventually alright in the end, just so you know. Pick yourself up, and have an amazing 20-year journey towards the year 2022, I'll see and hug you here. 😊