Yes, two different breast were hitting me left, right, center, but I too was in deep shit, cause the mouth odour and spit were all dropped on me. If they were to squeeze out all, one ten liter go full remain.
Now, what caused this brawl?
Chinedu my neighbor, had an eye for my girlfriend and when I noticed, I told her hope she’s aware of the gaze he throws at her? All she’d do is laugh and would reply “Abeg free that guy, nothing come out”
Me, being someone who’d just smile, knowing what would happen at the end replied “Okay o”
Days passed, everyday I’d see Chinedu and my girlfriend smiling at each other like horses, at the front of my house. I would just pass them and would greet them.
“Una well-done o”
“Bro how far na?”
“Babe what’s up?”
I’ll just enter inside na. Trusting my girlfriend would perhaps cut their meeting short and do me the honors of a boyfriend, but no, they’d continue laughing at each other’s dry jokes. Knowing fully well I’d be jealous, she’d even say “Nedu you’re very funny, naim make I like you” on most gestures.
All these were happening in front of my house.
I’ll just laugh and continue pressing my phone.
“God when” I’d often times say in my thoughts and stare at them from my window.
It now looked as if I was even the one bugging. Because they now took their gist to Chinedu’s room. And whenever I come look for her, she’d stare with a frown.
“Babe, please I’m here. I’d be with you shortly”
“Bro, what’s up na?”
“I dey. Una dey really enjoy una selves”
I’d carry my mumu self and shift to my end now.
It continued. Even when I told her I don’t like the meetings. It all fell on deaf ears.
Even when I dey gist her, she go dey lost in thoughts. I’d tell her to go stay with Chinedu now, if she misses him so much. She would angrily leave and turn the situation around, implying I’m accusing her of cheating.
One Saturday morning, my babe serve me one hot breakfast.
“Sam, I can’t feel the connection again”
“[knowing tis all cause of Nedu] so you want to break up with me baa”
“I love you but we just don’t vibe much”
“[let it not be as if I’m bad] so after all these years, na wetyn you wan do be this. No Wahala”
“Abeg no reason am like that. You go like situation wey I go just dey relationship for deying sake?”
“No wahala. All the best”
The next week, she came greeting me, that she came to see her new guy. I just told her “Okay”
Knowing me sef have gone 2 weeks into this new relationship and had already told new babe about everything that happened.
Then she asked if I used her to rebound or forget my ex, I told her “No. I already knew the relationship was gonna end soon. So I had to take repercussions to avoid been left out”
One month later, a girl came to visit Nedu.
“Guy man, you dan catch another fish abii?”
“No o. Na my main woman be that o”
“So the girl you collect from me come be wetyn?”
“Side chick na”
“I go like see this your new barnie o”
Evening came, knowing I’d have visitors, I and my babe just started preparing dinner.
“Kpam kpam kpam”
“Come in. Abeg drop your slippers outside o”
Immediately they came in, the water I was drinking started choking me o.
“Babe, what’s wrong with you”
“Nothing. Water enter my throat.
Chinedu’s main babe is my fuck mate. Knowing the reason why I was coughing, she asked for the toilet. I showed her the direction to the toilet.
I could swore I heard her gasping for breathe in there.
Everywhere became intense. House wey dey contain like seven people and enough breeze go still come in, became really tight for me and the girl. Like tis just both of us that was sweating profusely.
Twas 5:13pm already and a knock came. I wasn’t expecting any visitor, so I asked my babe if she was, she said “no”
“Come in”
Lo and behold, twas my ex.
“Sorry to disturb o. I’m looking for Nedu and I thought he would be here. Oh, here you are. Lets go home joor”
“Amaka later abeg. I dey with person and we come see person”
“Wait, babe na me be person. Oh, so that’s the girl you’re cheating with abi.”
Amaka was so perplexed at how everything was going. I and my babe was just staring. Me, on the other hand had already seen what will happen laslas. So I had prepared myself really quick.
“Chinedu, who’s this one?”
“Please don’t address my girlfriend like that biko”
“Oh, so me I’m your side chick?”
“That’s what you are na. Don’t you see you want to snatch him away from me”
“Mumu rest, I’m not talking to you. Chinedu before I broke up with Samuel what did you say?”
“I did not say anything”
“You told me, Samuel is a brostitute, and the only thing he gives me is fuck. You also said you are single and would do anything else other than fuck”
“[already laughing] so the thing reach like this. Me, I’m good at fuck kwa”
“Oh, Nedu, so that’s what you do? Going about telling everybody that you’re single”
“The only thing Samuel was good at was fuck me well, at least he was good at it. Unlike you that chicken yourself up. You and chicken, I dunno with one last pass sef. I still dey regret why I left him”
“At least for everything you said, the fact about Samuel was right” Rita said [my fuck mate]
“Eweeey! So the problem begins[I said in my thoughts]
“Wait what? I don’t understand” Benita said [my new babe]
“As in I no understand” Chinedu followed up.
“Okay lets stop with this acting. Chinedu you aren’t good in bed that’s why I keep meeting with Samuel. I’ve tried my best to work with you, so we both will enjoy it but you release and I’ll be left with fingering myself most nights. I needed to up my game, that was how I met Samuel and we ended up as fuck mates with no strings attached”
“Samuel so that’s what you did behind my back?” Amaka replied
The kind eye wey I give the girl, she face her Chinedu dey talk.
All these going on, I felt for Benita, I was thinking she has broken up with me sef.
The next thing I heard was “Kpraaaaaaa” on Rita’s face.
“You slapped me? Why did you slap me”
“For sleeping with Samuel and Chinedu”
“I don’t understand. You were sleeping with my Nedu I didn’t complain, and you slapped me?
“…and I’ll do it again, if you don’t shut up”
“[Kpaaaaaaaa] if you ever lay your filthy hands on me again I’ll beat the hell out of you”
Na so fight take start o.
On seeing this I had to separate. Asking Nedu to help me, he just left with tears running down in eyes.
“Oya, all of you should stop this nonsense. You all has had your share of Samuel, he won’t change to be yours. Now you guys can leave”
“[sobbing over what Benita said] you heard madam, Oya vamus”
They left and continued there quanta outside. Till the other neighbors went to separate them.
“So you are this good and small thing you’ll say you’re tired. Now I see where your strengths are going”
I was very angry at myself. I had to apologize, bought her chicken and five alive, she accepted while smiling.
That night go well sha.
Seriously, I was glued to the end of this story, perhaps a real life one 😂😂
At least I am leaving your post with a new word learned: Brostitutue 🤣🤣🤣
That was a funny scenario where you both snatched each other's girlfriends. That was interesting.
😂 please don’t call me that. I’m a virgin guy