There are a lot of habits that you exhibit in your lives that you learnt from families from childhood that have become a part of you till date. The common ones are how to behave in public how to eat, work ethic, religious practices and so on. However, when it comes to relationship matters there is the possibility that you learnt some bad practices from your parents and they are not always aware that they are influencing you because they avoid having a discussion with you about love. Most parents do not create time to talk about love, sex and relationships with their children.
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Love, sex and relationship is one aspect of life that most people did not get properly educated about. You see kids being taught at home or in an awkward classroom setting about sex and relationship, and that is it. Afterwards, they have to go through the real life experience without any thorough education. In fact, most people learnt all they know about relationships today from books, movies and R&B songs.
Well, it is possible to get rid of the bad relationship habits that you have picked up from your parents while growing up (even though they might mean well for you) but it will be possible by identifying your loopholes - that is, the exact things you are not doing right.
These are some of the indicators that you learnt some bad relationship habits
- You doubt your partner all the time due to the fact that you witness your parents seperate or divorce especially when you were much younger. It may affect the level of commitment you put into your relationship.
- Communicating with your partner may be a big problem if your parents were not good with it when you were growing up. Communication with your partner is key in all relationships but if you grew up in a family where your parents would not settle a misunderstanding without the presence of a third party, you might see yourself talking about your issues with friends instead of directly to your partner too.
- The notion that some things are better left unsaid is not ideal in a relationship. All issues have to be discussed and resolved accordingly. There may be a feeling that you'd hurt your partner if you tell him or her about it, but it is better to get them hurt now than when they discover by themselves.
- Most of us are pretty bad in public display of affection (PDA), sex and the likes because growing up, our parents do not really steal a kiss in front of us, or tell each other "I love you" or even call each other pet names. Some parents do act like they do not have a sexual life and this could also be your habit when you grow up as well. The habit of communicating your sexual desires and needs to your partner is a characteristics of a healthy relationship.
- The way your parents fight when you grow up will also define how you approach fights in your relationship as an adult. There are times when you say things or do things during your fights with your partner that are similar to what you have heard your dad say to your mom or your mom do to your dad, no doubts. Slamming of the door, hitting of the table while talking, walking out, keeping quiet, and so many more are some of the bad habits you may have picked up from your papa and mama. Fights are important in a relationship, but it is healthy when you know how to handle it.
- There might be a problem if you observe that either of your parents are trying to outclassed each other when you were growing up. Relationship is not a competition that you have to beat each other to the finish line. The two of you must work side by side to take your relationship to the next level. So, if your parent were all about getting control over the other person, you may have seen it and also use it in your own relationship.
There is a popular saying that "Home is the first school". This is the institution where we learnt most, if not all of the interpersonal relationship habits that we practice today. Parents are the first teachers that we learn from either directly or indirectly and we so much adopt and adapt to every single thing they teach us easily. They are influential to the habits we learn and relationship practices is not left out. So, it is important to look into yourself and identify the bad relationship habits you have learnt and unlearn them
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