You understood correctly. With my family I mean my siblings (parents are both dead) and their children (all adults, by now).
My son is naturally not interested in what mom does and with my man I have those conversations I sometimes lead here, anyway. With friends: no one reads what I write.
They do recognise the futility of my impulses, they correctly pay no attention to me. However, it seems to be like the prophet in his own country. Others who are not close to my friends/family are listened to. HaHa! A really successful joke, I think! It's the famous propaganda, isn't it?
Have you had the experience with close ones to whom you addressed questions about their complaints, for example, which were meant as open ended from your side and they still decided to listen what distant experts say, instead of answering to themselves/you?
When this happens to me and it does not piss me off, I like to laugh about it.
to be honest most people around me are pretty aligned, parents are the only exception and we love each other as family but are not always on the same page otherwise I tend to be around people who I at least have similar conversations / interests / core beliefs with. I have never had any issues with leaving everyone behind and attracting in entire new friendships circles/ jobs / clients etc. I find it relatively easy to leave things that don't resonate. I don't mean everyone has to agree on everything but if someones core values are so far off mine or we are just not at all interested in each others core values/ interests of conversation I tend to find we drift apart really quick as I only really like deep conversation.
I don't think there is such a thing as a core belief. I changed my views, my understanding of this world relatively often, and if I then were to meet this core, which is supposed to be what I believe, then I would be in dire straits. I lack memory of what I believed in at 25 or what I believed in at 30. I argue on the basis of my present, that is, what I suspect I might have believed at that age.
I have faith in the spontaneously experienced situation with someone where something makes me laugh or other feelings happen. The shared situation. What follows afterwards is that the person who experienced it with me already verbalises a different view of things in the retelling than I do. Therefore, I think that a fundamental view of core beliefs does not exist because it likes to clash with events that occur.
I would also say that I am not so much interested in meeting like-minded people, just as I am not interested in meeting unlike-minded people, rather it is something else that is difficult to name. It's the disagreement with someone that gives me a sense of interest, as the lack of agreement can have an openness of outcome, can initiate an interesting conversation. To use an exaggeration as a stylistic device, I would even say that it is precisely the non-match that I am looking for. As I'm finding out, not very many people like that. ;)
If I were in general alignment, to use your expression, most conversations would be superfluous, there would be no particular reason to want to communicate. In fact, this can be the case, for example, between couples who have been together for many decades and understand each other very well non-verbally. LOL They then use language only when that alignment is currently absent. HaHa!
For me a core belief is like wanting to evolve as a priority. Wanting to spend lots of time with a partner and have a deep connection, being interested in working on self, wanting a deep union with a partner, wanting to work through triggers rather than just leave a connection when it’s triggering, wanting monogomy etc etc I don’t mean like hobbies and opinions as they change quickly. Core values tend to be much more deep set.
Call me a spoilsport, I don't think what you named has something to do with beliefs, rather with wishes and priorities, as you said.
I don't mind that either, for I find it actually more relaxing to get away from fixated forms of beliefs.
What would be the difference between belief and faith for you?
I guess for me a core belief would be what a person wanted in a relationship for example. I.e. do they won a closely bonded relationship where you work together hang out all the time do everything together. Or does one person enjoy loads of time alone away from their partner and just want someone they hang out with in the evenings. Of course these kind of core beliefs and ideals can change but if they’re out of alignment for too long with your partner it’s going to be pretty miserable. Or things like are you willing to work through triggers to stay together or does one partner run away rather than deal with them. Does one partner want to date loads of people at the same time versus be completely monogamous. These types of beliefs are going to wear pretty thin after a while if they’re not in alignment.
However do you like Brussels sprouts or cabbage obviously isn’t going to affect your happiness.
I mean even religion would be a problem. If one person followed a very strict religion that you didn’t follow then at some point I think it would become difficult. Especially if their religion impacted how they wanted you to behave. So maybe a core value is honouring somebody’s freedom over religion choices. I guess the core value is linked to authenticity and if your partners core values are completely out of alignment with yours often times one person has to be in authentic to maintain the relationship. For example they have to be in a relationship hats not deep enough for them or their partners not spending enough time with them to be happy, this will end up miserable for both as one will nag and one will feel pressured as neither are happy.
When people uphold their religion and expect or demand behaviour according to its code, I can ask myself what of it I am prepared to accept and let a discussion about it go.
When I see religious people burying their deceased, for example, organising a Christian service and the funeral feast, I find that a good tradition. They are practical activities that offer cohesion. However, theorising about religion is often a source of conflict. We realise that many Christians are not able to live by their own rules and the pressure it creates to still be more papal than the Pope is counterproductive. The Old Testament question "Who shall cast the first stone?" is really good in this context, I think.
So I would ask you, what (if) are positive experiences in your personal life where you felt comfortable in a practical involvement of a religious nature?
I haven’t really as I tend to partner people who have similar core values and no fixed religion but more a spiritual interest. I have seen for example friends date quite strict Muslim guys and it means they won’t be intimate with them whilst dating, they have to behave in certain ways in public, they have to go off and pray at multiple times during the day, they expect the woman to be a certain way and the family dynamic. The relationship never worked out, since one always had to be inauthentic either not allowed to follow the religion they wanted or being restricted. I don’t believe a relationship should compromise you at all. Sure you might make compromises on where to go for the day etc but it shouldn’t make you have to compromise yourself/ your joy or your spiritual path.
I think there is a difference between, on the one hand, ruling out a relationship from the outset where I classify a person as a strict religious believer and, on the other hand, without having made this conscious decision, simply not seeming to end up in such relationships at all. Personally, I have never had a relationship with men who clearly came from a different cultural background, which in no way means that I actively reject it, just that I do not actively seek it. I know some women who have succumbed or succumbed to the fascination of men from other cultural backgrounds who, after the initial attraction of this otherness wore off, were eventually unable to overcome the cultural hurdles and the relationship therefore broke down.
Since you can never really say with absolute certainty beforehand, such excursions into other cultures are always both an opportunity and a risk.
I’ve left any relationship that made me have to compromise my own values / joy / alignment. I hve no problem with leaving If something has done its course and we are no longer evolving together. I believe I am here to evolve not to cling to a relationship that’s stagnated or was only meant as a part of my journey.
So these relationships you speak of, you just left light hearted? No hurt emotions, no grudges whatsoever? To me, it seems more like an ideal Imagination of how relationships could be, but in general are not. If it were so easy to detach from a connection to another human, why would there be a reason to split up in the first place?
So, I have to ask: In what way you detached yourself from humans? Is it that you do not have, for example, a further sexual relationship but still maintain a platonic one? That would be a relaxed way of parting, I think.
Or, in the case of a non sexual relationship, you stay friends with whom you parted? Was the other one also in this mood of just letting you go?
You don’t need to be together a long time to have telepathy with a partner. If it’s a soul connection it’s generally instantaneous that you know their thoughts. Sometimes you can pick out whole sentences etc. I mean we all can feel and access each other’s energy and emotion if we can really access that space of quiet I believe. I think telepathy is the natural state of being for society. We just came so far away from it.
HaHa! My son would agree with you right away. He regularly expects me to read his mind and know his every wish. I fairly don't mind what you call it, I agree that you notice when it's the case that you know what's coming next in being with a person. Mistakes included. I would say though that I am better at having such with people I have known for a long time or very intimately.
Why is 20 s/30s relevant out of interest?
I don't understand. Can you re-formulate the question?
Even leaving hive meant losing a regular daily income, but It was worth it and new things opened out to replace it, I've lost clients and friends for holding certain opinions on covid/ trump and good I met new ones who were more open minded. I feel life is an ever unfolding display of resonance, following our highest joy and none attachment lol
When I was younger, I also had not so many difficulties in moving within a changing environment, which includes humans also. I befriended myself pretty easy, while I admit that parting was not in the same way easy. People, whom I knew for a very long time, with whom I then split, that took me quite some time to overcome my grudges and other emotions. It depends with whom I talk and what kind of conversation that is, to fall back into the grudges or maintain a relaxed attitude towards a lost friendship.