i remember one time driving through a parking garage at a movie theater, looking for a parking spot, i was driving slowly, looking carefully, and mye piped up "hey, why'd you drive by that spot ?" - not in a mean way, but in a simply surprised way, and i was like "what spot ?" and she says "that one, right there" and pointed and i could see it and i realized that i had actually driven right by it, and i just exploded in rage - - i think i started yelling at her, telling her that if she saw the spot she should have said something before i drove past it, and she said she didn't say anything because she thought i was going to backup the car into the spot, but i just kept on driving and that's why she was surprised - - - i think i was too mad to park in that spot, so i sped up and just parked further away where there were fewer cars - - anyway - - i remember being confused about why i was so angry - - i really thought about it - - maybe a couple of weeks in the back of my mind, until i figured out it was because driving slowly past a spot while i was actively looking for a spot made me feel stupid, and it also made me misinterpret her surprise as mocking - - - and i thought about it some more, because i've been made fun of from time to time and generally it doesn't bother me much, even if people tell me i'm stupid i really don't care much about their opinions - - - then i realized i'm afraid of actually being stupid - - i'm not afraid of someone thinking i'm stupid, but i'm afraid that i might actually be stupid or do stupid things in some situations - - so i realized then that i need to accept my stupidity - - in order to de.fuse it - - so, i came up with a mantra to re.mind my.self - - i am stupid ugly and worthless - - i felt like this was a major break.through - - so i tried to tell everyone, i even posted a blog with the title "i am stupid ugly and worthless" and the comments section, which was usually completely empty, quickly filled up with sympathetic comments - - - WHICH WAS NOT WHAT I WANTED - - - and i rather futilely tried to explain that these people OBVIOUSLY didn't read the full post - - and if they did, they completely missed the entire point
Humbling ourselves is very good imo. But o would be concerned about the mantra itself. Words in and of themselves apart from our definitions of them hold power without our influence. I've read and seen examples of its frequency. I've read that in the mystical mystery schools, it's considered to be the God's voice. Use it wisely. But then again to get wise you got to experience life and that includes stupidity.
Have some magic mushrooms. 5 grams. Microdose. Heal. Meditate. Exercise. Insert more positive things here.
sure, it's not an "everyday" kinda thing
but it works
if you notice yourself getting uncharacteristically angry for no good reason
i can chant positive affirmations all day and puff myself up and avoid "negative thoughts"
but that does nothing to deal with my shadow
which will explode seemingly at random
if i simply pretend it doesn't exist
Take an edible...
TayLo 🤙
🥓
i am a spiritual godzilla
I think if you removed some of those bandages, it would really serve to highlight the decaying flesh, which has a certain appeal to people with a particular inclination.
iamhonoredbyyourfocus
You were driving
Thats the problem 📐
Those who are on tiptoes cannot stand
Those who straddle cannot walk
hahahahaha!
Hey, we all are. It's those of us who think they are better than others who have the problems. I know a lot of those, and they all think I am very stupid, especially since the covid con began and I started saying all those stupid, selfish, ugly things.
i formally invite you to post anything you wish
https://blurt.intinte.org/hot/blurt-189095
in this space
Thank you. I have tried to use this front end before but, for some unknown reason, I cannot put the log in into my bookmarked folder.
just add /hot/blurt-189095
to whatever front-end you're currently using
blurt.blog/hot/blurt-189095 - - for example
Re🤬eD
Anger is predictable
Like people 🥓
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