I was talking to a friend of mine who shifted from Muscat permanently to India a year ago. It seems that her hubby is just not able to settle down in India, because he has lived for 40 years in Oman and I believe that is natural, it is not easy. But this is a fact of the Middle East jobs that someday you will have to return back to your Country or you can opt to migrate to any other Country. In the last 1 year they have set up their house and my friend are very happy with her life in India. Both of them are retired and she is enjoying her retired life, but her hubby does not feel happy. He has decided that he will start a business of his own in Muscat and take up a investors visa, which will allow him to stay in the city.
It is a conflict between them now, because my friend likes to stay in India and enjoy her retired life whereas he wants to go back to Oman and work there again. After a lot of contemplation and discussions between them, she finally gave up and agreed to go his way. This is just one e.g., that I want to highlight, but at large this is the case that it's most of the time the women who has to compromise in any situation where there is a conflict.
For us women, family is important, and we can go to any extent to do things for our family, but not all the man think it that way. Majority of them want it their way. Maximum times it is the women who has to make an understanding with the situation to maintain the peace. We talk about woman empowerment and all those things, but I feel that it is yet a very long way to go to see the real change in the society. While some of the man may treat their woman very respectfully but yet they will want things to happen their way. This is sad. In my own case also, I was with a good job and then I had to take the decision to move with my hubby, leaving my career. It was a conscious decision made evaluating all the pros and cons but then still somewhere I had to take that decision to give up on my career. If I had not taken that decision, then possibly, we would have to live separate lives and that was never an option for me. Family means everything to me.
Between me and hubby we have had this discussion many times that in all this bargain my own aspirations have taken a back seat, he does understand but yet we have no solutions for it until the day both of us are in a position to return back together when we have our financial security. These societies need to change and the roles need to reverse. Woman empowerment is just not about securing good jobs and positions but also in day-to-day life being capable of giving priority to her own self and then put others in line. We keep evaluating our circumstances and then always feel that our own aspirations are lesser than our partners' and we end up compromising.
I really do not know that how these things will change because this is the basic nature of a woman to always put others needs first and then look at her own. Especially when we get married and get into a family unit then these traits become much stronger in comparison to when we are alone.
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