I see how the stars, too, become dark

in thought •  6 months ago 

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Sometimes a bad temper runs through me, anger takes over me, and suffering leads me to make bad decisions. I have taken my break, I have taken my time, I have stopped to think about things, but in the midst of so much resentment, bad words run through my veins.

With one hand on my chest, and the other holding my throat, the sensation of hitting is disturbing, and with red eyes, enraged I hit the wall several times, damaging my fists and injuring my hand. I thought it would be enough to calm me down, but still, I had the same thought.

Through the walls I could hear a voice that called me in agony, saying a thousand barbarities, incoherent things that were not at all true, and inside I swallowed my saliva, my words along with them, "turning around while holding my hand. burning".

Something ran down my forehead, and it wasn't blood, it was something colder, it was a sweat that didn't let me rest, I've been through work, I've swallowed my pride, humiliated and mistreated, trying to get people to speak well of me, trying to get them to appreciate me. my gestures, looking for a way to solve everything in my path, even if it didn't work for me.

I have always been good to everyone, I have given the most expensive details, I have done what others would not do, my style is personalized, “collaborative, gentlemanly, and attentive” is how I identify myself. And among so many mouths, I am an undesirable abomination when it comes to making a mistake.

The fact of carrying weight bothers me, but in my eyes no one would be mistreated, blaming me to save others, even knowing that I would pay for it. But for what? I have understood that no matter what you do, they will never return the favor, your truths will be beaten out of you, and your dreams will turn into nightmares.

It was a Monday, and precisely that same night the moon was shining like never before, its light was enchanting, and the stars looked like starlights, but minutes later, those same ones would pour rain on me, turning something beautiful into something incomprehensible.

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