💙FRAGILE💙
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?~
"PWEDE BA! AALIS AKO, ROGELIO!" sigaw ng isang babae.
"Mina, maawa ka naman sa amin. Kahit wag na ako ang isipin mo. Kahit ang anak na lang natin. Bata pa si Safina" pagmamakaawa ng isang lalaki. He's on his knees begging for her to stay.
"Ayoko na Rogelio. Pakiusap, tama na. Sawa na ako sa mga pinanggagawa mo. Saan ba ako nagkulang? Ginawa ko naman ang lahat. Minahal kita. Binigay ko ang sarili ko ng buong-buo pero kulang parin" lumuluhang sabi ng babae.
"Isa pang pagkakataon,Mina. I'll make it up to you this time. Please"
"Ayoko na. Ilang beses mo na iyang sinabi sa akin. Ilang ulit na kitang pinatawad at binigyan ng pagkakataon. Ngayon ayoko na. Mahal kita pero ayokong tuluyang mawala sa sarili ko ng dahil lamang sa pag-ibig ko sayo. Patawad"
Nag-unahang tumulo ang luha sa aking mga mata.
"Mommy?" tawag ko.
Gulat silang napalingon sa akin. Dali-daling pinahid ni mom ang luha sa kanyang mga mata at lumapit sakin. She patted my head then smiled at me.
"Baby, magpakabait ka ha?"
"Mabait naman po ako mommy eh" then I pouted.
Marahan itong natawa.
"I know pero mas magpakabait ka ha?"
"Bakit po? Saan po kayo pupunta?"
She looked down before she uttered those words.
"Aalis si mommy baby eh"
"Mina naman" umiiyak na sabi ni Dad.
"Daddy, why are you crying?" I asked.
"Umayos ka Rogelio. Nandito si Safina" ani mom.
"Mommy, where are you going?"
"I'm going to a far far away place"
"But why?"
"Mommy needs to find herself,baby" she sobbed.
"But.. what about me?" nagbabadyang tumulo ang luha saking mga mata. I'm still 5 years old yet I know better. Mommy's gonna leave us.
"As much as I want to be with you baby, I can't take you. You stay with daddy. You take care of him for mommy and love him with all your might" she said those eventhough tears pooled her eyes.
"Can't you stay,mommy?" I cried too.
"Baby please don't cry. Hindi kaya ng mommy baby. I'm sorry. And besides, you're going to have a new mommy soon"
"MINA!" sigaw ni Rogelio.
"Bakit? Mali ba?" malamig na tugon ni mom.
"NO! IKAW LANG ANG GUSTO KONG MAGING MOMMY!" I cried harder.
"Sorry baby. Maiiintindihan mo rin to someday" she then wiped her tears with her hands and picked her bags. Daddy hugged her from behind and I saw how weak she is when it comes to Dad yet she resisted the urge to hug him too. Instead of kissing dad, she pulled away agonizingly and walked away from us.
"Behind these smiles are pain lurking inside of my system. I am adored by many and surrounded with friends but I still crave for affection. I am loved by the people around me but I badly wanted to experience a mother's love. I've succeed and got a lot of achievements but she didn't come back. She wasn't there with me. It's as if she's not proud of me. However, I want her to know that I never loathe her. I never hated her. I never blamed her for leaving us. It's just that it's still painful inside. And I'm thankful for her. For enduring 9 months just so I can see the world. For giving me life. For loving me even from afar. I would not be like this if not for her. And I won't be speaking in front of you if not because of her. If you're listening to me mom, I love you so much it hurts. I'll be waiting forever for you to come back and enveloped me in your arms" as I muttered the last statement, I heard the clapping of the audiences but I couldn't care more. Right here in this very stage is the other side of Safina—the broken one longing for her mother.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try... to fix you~