The gentle knock part 1

I was sad, I was sure of myself until now, what if am not good enough like Anayo said, what if I make fun of myself in front of everyone in the the village, I was thought that evening. I was deep in thoughts when Mama returned from the new market, I didn’t see her coming, I didn’t even hear her when she called my name the first time. “Nonso is everything alright?” I heard her ask. I quickly faked a smile. “Of course mama everything is fine, how was new market today?” I needed to change the subject quickly; I couldn’t tell her that I won’t be playing at the music festival tomorrow because Anayo said I wasn’t good enough to play his backup. Mama starred inquisitively at me with those curious eyes of hers, I couldn’t fool her she knew all wasn’t right. “Alright come and cut stock fish for me your father will be home soon.” Mama said in a low voice as she left the sitting room, she didn’t want to press me for more when papa will be home soon. I stood and followed her into the kitchen; the thought of her egusi soup (melon) made me forget my depressing thoughts of not being good enough.
That night, the day was over my mind was made up, my flute will rest until next year, by then my skill would have been better. I decided to let Anayo play solo in the music festival tomorrow. During dinner I told mama and papa who had been looking forward to watching me play my flute at the music festival tomorrow that I won’t be playing. Papa was shocked but he respected my decision, and mama on the other hand was worried about my decision. She said nothing but her face went grim and I knew she was worried. That night I was rolling from side to side in my room trying to sleep when I heard the gentle knock on the door, I didn’t respond but mama entered all the same. Somehow she knew I wasn’t sleeping. I turned and she was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Nonso, Nonso, Nonso, how many times have I called your name. Don’t see yourself anything less than what you are.” Mama said calmly leaving me to my thoughts.