Proving Flat Earth Theory with Spam

in spam •  last month 

One can prove that the world is flat with a can of SPAM. I balanced a can of SPAM on a globe ... theory proven.

QED.

Thus it is written.

I will now insult anyone who disagrees with me.

Some Additional Blather

The image is conclusive proof of Flat Earth Earth Theory.

But the truth is that I love blathering.

Imagine opening the can and spreading it all over the globe. Spam is kind of viscous and I think I could cover that globe with spam. It would ruin both the globe and the spam.

Hey, better yet. Imagine if one dedicated one's life to filling forums with posts about spam.

We can take any forum committed to free speech and inundate the forum with hundreds of thousands of low quality posts about Flat Earth Theory.

That would be a good use of a human life.

I bet that one could train an AI to spout Flat Earth Propaganda. All you have to do is train an AI on Flat Earth posts and the AI could generate a trillion senseless posts.

More about the Picture

I had some problems getting the can to balance on the globe.

Since I am in blathering mode, I thought I blather about the image.

I could only get the can to balance on the top of the globe. I could not get it to balance on the sides.

If the globalist version of the earth was true; then only one person on the earth could stand up straight. The rest of us would fall to the side.

This Disproves the Lunar Landing

Hey, this also disproves the lunar landing. The only way that a lunar module could land on the moon and stick would be if it landing on the top of moon. It it landed on the side of the moon, it would slide off.

I don't think the people at NASA have enough brain power to do that.

I know that I am smarter than all of those alleged scientists at NASA ... and I have a trouble figuring out which side of the toast to butter in the morning.

Ooops

Ooops, I just noticed that I put the SPAM can on the Middle East. That will make a lot of people unhappy as Classic SPAM is a pork product.

The Earth is Only 6000 years old

Speaking of the Holy Land. As I understand, the effective shelf life of SPAM is 6,000 years ... which also happens to the age of the earth.

I am saving this can of SPAM so that I will have something to eat after the rapture. I think it is the only food stuff that can make it through Armageddon.

So Called Scientists

So called scientists try to defend the globalist view by saying that the earth appears to be an oblate spheroid formed in some sort of dimple in space time.

So called scientists say that gravity tends to pull things toward the center of mass f the system. So called scientists claim that the center of gravity is not at the geometric center of the earth as it is shifted by the mass of the so called moon. They say that the so called tides are created by the rotation of the moon around the earth and the earth around the so called sun.

This so called theory is clearly wrong because I inserted the derisive adjective multiple times in the explanation.

Newton is Fig Headed

Much of the so called science was developed by Isaac Newton and modified by Albert Einstein. We all know Newton is a brand of cookies with a soft pastry shell and fig paste. Newtonian physics is just a device for selling cookies.

Einstein is a nationwide chain of bagel shops. This proves science wrong.

Conclusion

We can prove that the earth is flat by covering the globe with spam.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE BLURT!
Sort Order:  
  ·  last month  ·  

image.png

  ·  last month  ·  

Ha ha ha

IMG_2188.jpeg