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One of the initial surprises among young couples is that they discover that unlike in dating, they no longer desire to always be together and would most at times like to be alone. While dating, a quarrel could erupt simply because one of the parties had not called on phone, sent a message, replied to a message or returned a call, or paid a visit. When new couples discover that they no longer want to be together all the time it can be disturbing. They can feel guilty about this. Sometimes as a result of this problem, a subtle change begins to develop in their sexual life. Most times they simply 'perform' in order to pretend that they want to be with the other, to merely satisfy the other. Most young ladies do this, the man asks for sex and sometimes you don't want to have sex and you merely perform just to make him feel alright, not because you want to be together in a sexual way.
It is advised that they talk this over. A loving sensitivity of this occasional abstinence, an acknowledgement of the fact that sometimes couples may decide not to copulate, and the foundational importance of not allowing the act of sex to predominate in love and marriage; would go a long way to help them in this regard.
It would help then, if everyone realized before marriage that there would be many times when they will not feel like having intercourse. There would be more happy marriages if men and women were more honest with themselves and with each other about their sexual desires and gave their real feelings a chance to develop, and not necessarily pressuring themselves into sex.
A balance is to be maintained. This means abstaining from sexual intercourse on many occasions for example, times of sickness and excessive tiredness (this has not be honest and not a strategy to deny the other of the conjugal responsibility). Sexual abstinence is important because it also makes room for the highest peaks of experience in sexual life. Satiety deadens, intermittent abstinence excites, inspires and enriches.