Expectations Lead to Disappointment in Relationships

Expectation leads to disappointment if someone disappoints you or fails to live up to your high expectations. When Jeff unexpectedly received a call from his son who had always seemed his biggest pride and joy, he was heartbroken. He was told by his son that his son had been arrested for marijuana possession. This news came as a big surprise to Jeff.

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What an enormous blow this must have been to Jeff? His expectation of a loving and kind God had been smashed. His belief in a higher power was also destroyed. There appeared to be no escape from this disappointment. The answer was clear.

The situation is very similar to that of a patient who goes to the doctor and is told that there is nothing wrong with him. He goes home and does not get better and dies a week later. The doctor then says that if the patient had only asked for more pills, he would have gotten better. His expectation leads to disappointment and his treatment to disappointment as well.

But if we ask someone who has had this experience what would have happened if he or she had known that expectations lead to disappointment, they will tell us that the experience was much better. They may even tell us that the person who told them this had been through a lot worse. But we cannot know without experience how things would have turned out if expectations were not part of the deal. So expectations hangover is a term that describes an unpleasant but common experience in relationships.

If we are willing to let go of our expectations, we will be able to experience a much more contented life. Unhappiness and frustration are a natural part of the journey of life and if we are willing to let go of our expectations, we will be able to experience some happiness as well. Let go and you will be able to let go.

We should never let expectation leads us into disappointment. If we set expectations with too high levels then we will soon get disappointed because we will not be challenged enough by our current situation. When we set expectations too low then the end result is disappointment because we will not be challenged enough and will not know what to do.

On the other hand, if we set reasonable expectations then we will be challenged and our expectations will be exceeded. The trick to getting right is to recognise what is happening and think positive. If you think negative then disappointment will follow. We need to be able to look at things in a positive way. It is easy to be critical but the key is to look at things in a more optimistic way.

The reason for this is that if we have high expectations then we are likely to expect too much. If we don't set enough reasonable expectations then disappointment will follow. We can either change our expectations or learn to cope with disappointment. Most people learn to cope quite well!

You may also be surprised to hear that our expectations are usually not the same as those we see in movies or on TV. This is because in most situations we don't actually see someone's face and say, "what was that?" or "how did you know to do that?" Sometimes our expectations are based on what we see in the media and in advertising. If you find that you are expecting too much from your relationship, you may need to rethink what you are doing with your expectations.