I have talked about this briefly before now but the events of Valentine made me want to reiterate this issue about giving. I am never tired of talking about it because it is also an important factor in a relationship.
As humans, we are too contented with the norms. We want to do things the way they are even though we know deep down we have the ability to do things better. That's just morally wrong.
You can't be in love without giving. If you claimed to be in love and it has never moved you to give anything to the person you claimed you, love, then you need to reconsider what love means to you. Love is not selfish. Love is not self-seeking.
Most people are in a relationship for what they want to absorb because they see it as a way of recouping what they have expended in past failed relationships. If that is your thinking then you don't deserve to be in a relationship, let alone love. Why? Because it shows you have not healed and it is morally wrong to dump your baggage on another that you didn't know what he or she had to deal with to get to where he or she is right now, and unfortunately, in dating you. Never punish another person for what they didn't cause. Each person should be responsible for the consequences of his or her own actions.
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Love and giving go hand in hand and this brings me to the issue of Valentine. See, it is not a crime if you don't fancy Valentine. Trust me on this, I never believed in it while growing up too because I felt why should I wait for one day to show someone that I care? The truth is, most people in a relationship lack the ethics of giving and this particular day is a day to at least teach people that you won't die if you put others first.
Most people in a relationship are suckers. It is always about what is in it for them rather than what they can give out. My orientation changed when I understand that, yes, I don't have to wait for February 14 to show love but I will never pass up any opportunity to show her that I still feel the same way I felt many years ago. You are not just celebrating a day but you are renewing your commitment.
The truth now is, you have to give something no matter how little. You want to tell me you have never seen anything your partner needs but can't get? Or you have never noticed something your partner should have but he or she still doesn't see it as a big deal? If you have never noticed anything of such with your partner, then what are you doing in a relationship? You are bargaining your body for gifts? If the only thing you have to bring into a relationship is your body then you have to have a rethink and check what your values are.
How are you making your partner better? How are you challenging him or her? Why is he or she the only one taking risks and making sacrifices when all you do is operate from a place of comfort? We all deserve love and know that the world doesn't revolve around you even though you have every right to feel special but your partner has that right too. Balance is needed in everything.
To the givers in a relationship, if you have already made giving your lifestyle then it doesn't matter if it is Valentine or not because your good heart will always shine through. Never change who you are because of someone's inability to see your worth. Fear of "I don't know who would be out there for me" make us accept what we are not supposed to and it is all about our sense of worth.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.