Do You Teach Someone How To Love You Or Do you Accept The Love They Have To Give You?
Love itself is a feeling and being committed to that feeling brings the beauty you see in relationships. Although, the word "teach" in this context is not necessarily sitting your partner down and telling them what to do. It is basically a process of communicating to them your needs, what you want and how you want it. I mean you can't always assume they know it all because they have been in past relationships.
We cannot all like the same thing, his ex may have preferred PDA while you don't. So it is possible he actually acts that same way with you, hence you'd need to tell him you don't want PDA but prefer a private love life. Here, you are only trying to make him see how you want to be loved...not teaching him perse.
I am actually the type to tell my man what I want or do not want because I want him to get to know me better and love me the right way. Not because he doesn't know how to love, but because we love differently. He could actually show me love in his own way but I may not feel or appreciate his show of affection because that's not what I want.
That's why I love the book "The Five Love Languages", by Gary Chapman. A book that talks about 5 different love languages, 5 different ways to show love to your partner in their own way. Telling them what they need to know through the early stages makes things easy on them, as they get to understand and learn how to love you....possibly avoiding unnecessary bants.
How you want to be touched...
What you want during love making...
Maybe you prefer calls to text...
Massage or a ready bath...
Kiss or back hugs...
Be open about your thoughts and wants, communicate with him or her. That way one person can tell what the other person wants without being told what to do over time. However, knowing where to draw the lines is important. I mean you should also give them the chance to show their feelings the way they want...as it may be unique to them. Don't make them feel like they aren't doing enough. Allow them room to be themselves, as it may come as forcing things out of them.
In accepting the love they give, it means you may have to take whatever you are given whether you appreciate it or not. Here, they love you the way they know and think is right. If you don't tell them, they wouldn't know.
What's are your thoughts?
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