A New Bike For Christmas #realitybites

in realitybites •  2 years ago  (edited)

2nd blog in the #realitybites series inspired by @erh.germany and @lucylin.

I had an inspiration just as I was falling asleep (always the way) and I put a notebook by my bed for just these moments but the cat was lying on my arm so I trusted in the cosmos to remind me in the morning. And it did.

All I Want For Christmas....
Circa 1970? I really wanted a Chopper bike for Christmas. The coolest bike on the planet at the time. I woke up extra early in my excitement and peeked into the living room and saw the ugliest bike I'd ever seen. They'd bought me a Shopper!! Probably the first version of those weird foldable bikes city folks use. I was so deflated I went back to bed. Santa was dyslexic.
CHOPPER
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SHOPPER
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Onwards and Upwards -
I'm riding my SHOPPER up the hill to turn around and fly down the long sloping road. Holding tight with my hands but legs akimbo away from the spinning pedals and mouth open for a scream, a huge bug flies into my mouth to the back of my throat and the only thing I can do is swallow it.
I am so disgusted I promptly throw up.

The Last Straw -
Riding ugly shopper bike up the other hill on the wrong side of the road I fall into a drain and tip forward over the handlebars. Lying in the road I feel no pain but see blood coming out of a hole in my shin. The ugly bike has skewered me with it's stupid screw handle. Mum takes me to the docs and he insists on rummaging in the hole and I see a lump of fat on a long metal 'spoon' thing coming out of the hole. I faint flat out.
The bike went bye bye.



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  ·  2 years ago  ·  

HaHa, very entertaining story of yours!
So you boycotted the mistake of gift in a very peculiar way :D

hated that bike hahahaha and it hated me. I never did get a chopper either.


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  ·  2 years ago  ·  

Ouch😱

actually no ouch, like I said I felt no pain.


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