Hello.
From what I understand from reading this, is that you miss your friends. Do you still see them? Converse wiith them?
We all had tough times from our youthful days, some more than others, but it is what shaped us to be, in part, who we are today.
To be honest it was pretty hard to get what you were saying. So if I may suggest "Grammarly". It is an app for mobile and pc that helps with spelling and setting your grammar down more correctly for easier read. It also makes your posts appear more intelligent. Highly recommended. I use it all the time for mobile since I have no PC. I hope that will help you.
Also, try to separate your posts into paragraphs. Even just revising your content before posting will go a long way.
I did enjoy reading. Thank you for sharing your young life in school. Learn from others. Strive to learn new things. And work on what you know now to perfect your art.
Cheers