One of my colleagues was fond of beating his girlfriend that year.
Each time I tried correcting him, he would remind me of how single I was:
"Guy, when you start dating, you'll know that they need small slap when their mouth starts running."
I would always wave it aside, and it made him feel he had a point.
On one of the days, I rebuked that mentality in him, and made him understand that the only time he had the right to raise his hands on that girl, was only in times of self-defense.
I reminded him that I never raised a hand on the girl I dated, and that I would have probably married her, if not for the horrors her father put me through, in the name of societal class.
"You're a lesser man if you can't solve your problems with the mouth" I told him.
"She never ran her mouth quite alright, but I'll never have 'raising my hands' as a solution, had she behaved that way," I added.
His arrogance beclouded his sense of judgement, and he told me to avoid him.
Well, I told him I won't only avoid him, but will also end our friendship. I dissociate myself from you once arrogance starts creeping in and you fail to listen to 'necessary' advice -- told him never to call my line again.
The girlfriend was living with him because her parents couldn't afford her rent after the father lost his job.
He was so unfair that he would always threaten her with "I'll throw her outside if she disobeys me."
He even, on one of the days, told his girlfriend to help him find out the name of a certain girl that newly took one of the vacant rooms in their lodge. I imagined how broken that girl must have been at his hands, seeing that he made it obvious, that he had interest in the new girl.
I had wanted to help his girlfriend, because I could afford to do so. But you know what will be said about it in the eyes of others -- that I probably helped because I wanted the girl to myself.
So, I minded my business, while hoping that somehow, she would get the help she needed.
Another guy took interest in her, but she couldn't give him a chance, because she loved my colleague so much. But that wasn't the case with him in practical terms -- you don't make it a tradition to raise your hand on someone, not to mention a person you claim to love.
Well, when his cup was full, and she decided to leave him, he was shocked.
The girl that came to help her pack her things was a Ronda Rousey(one of the most feared female wrestlers)
"You're an animal -- I know how many guys she rejected because of you, and you're still cheating" she had told my colleague.
I guess he forgot she wasn't his girlfriend, for he tried raising his hands on her, instead of using his mouth to resolve the issue.
"If you ever try that, I"ll break your head and disgrace you in this neighborhood," she threatened him.
Well, let's just say his arrogance deceived him, and before his hand could land on the girl's cheeks -- having intended slapping her -- she pushed him to the ground. His body broke a plastic chair while falling down,
Another colleague of mine was there to stop the fight, for the girl had speedily made for a nearby bottle of star. My colleague's girlfriend was even stopping her friend from using the bottle on his head.
"Let's just leave him and go" she said, preventing her friend from executing her heart's intent.
"I wan break his head," the visiting girl said.
They later left his house that day, and he still has a mark from the bruise he sustained that day.
The other colleague of mine furnished me with details of what happened that day, and also tried to reconcile two of us -- he had learnt of our quarrel.
I got an apology from him before deciding to be in talking terms with him again.
He later wanted the girl back into his life, but she said forgiveness was all she could give.
I remembered this because we spoke on the phone moments ago, and he said " I miss that girl -- I was really stupid."
I told him I was proud of him for this admission, and took his permission to make this post.
"I can't even take it from my sister's fiance if he raises his hands on her -- I was really mad," he added.
By this last statement, he indirectly implied that he wouldn't accept that which he gave another.
So, if you're reading this; will you accept the treatment you give others?
These are common questions we ought to ask ourselves before taking certain decisions.
Once again: There's no reason for domestic violence. If that girl had used that bottle on my colleague's head, she would say it's self- defense.
Self-defense is the only reason your hands should be raised.
