I saw in him a friend, so we became friends ...... Mind you, as at this time, we still did not know anything was going to happen between us. It was an ordinary, no-demand kind of friendship.
He didn't ask me 'I want to be your friend' or 'can we be friends?'.
Personally, when a guy tells me I want to be your friend or can we be friends?
It sounds to me like a subtle way of saying 'I want to get to you but I hear friendship is the best way to begin a relationship. I fear you will tell me NO if I ask you out so let me come from an angle you won't reject!'
Yes!
That's the first message I get from those statements. True friendship is not requested for, it is won.
Yes...... Just like trust.
Can you walk up to someone and tell the person 'I want you to trust me?'
If no is your answer, then understand that making a request for friendship will not give you the required result you seek, that's if what you truly wanted is friendship though.
The reason is simple. Asking a lady or a guy to be your friend will raise unnecessary pressure which you did not intend.
If that lady/guy already had a thing for you, he or she will want to put up the best of behaviors so as to be seen as the perfect bestie which will qualify him/her to be the perfect wife/husband material. By so doing, the pretense you never intended creeps in.
So if I am not to make a request for friendship and I really like this girl, what do I do?
The answer is simple. Work your way into becoming her friend; that's the first stone you need to lay. It's much easier when she sees a friend in you, than when you ask her to be your friend.
My dear brothers in this ministry, getting a lady is not that difficult....trust me, I'll dedicate a post to you to drop secrets you didn't know 😉.
I see how guys struggle, and the acrobatics they carry out just to get a lady and it marvels me🤔.
Ladies are complicated quite alright but having one you truly love does not take complicated procedures. I'll tell you how soon.
I've never seen a guy who's more creative and dedicated as one who is trying to get a lady to like him. This searching process brings out the poet in a doctor, the nurse in an engineer and the pastor in a farmer 🤣🤣🤣
Chai..... Brothers una don suffer o.
I feel your pains and I'll see how God can use me to help you. For the ladies, I'll also talk about how to handle requests when they come, how to turn down, resist, accept or give the green light, but not today.
Phew! which should I do first😅......let me continue with my story.
So we got talking and became friends. At this point we became a group of 3: Esther, Ken and I, always together and doing things together.
Meanwhile, for those that think church/fellowship leaders hide under the umbrella of church or fellowship to perpetrate immorality, understand that there are still true leaders who are walking together and doing the work of God with sincerity and purity of heart, paying no attention to what is not the plan of God for their lives.
If we have wrong things happening, it's indicative of the fact that there is the right thing. Evil is good being copied in the corrupted form.
Counterfeit is birthed from original. The reason you've not seen an fake 2,000 Naira note is because the original has not been produced. Once it is produced, it will be easy to make the fake. This implies that there are still Christian brothers who walk with Christian sisters and are not in a relationship with them.
There are others who could be in a relationship and that relationship is godly.
🔊🔊🔊GODLY RELATIONSHIPS STILL EXIST!!! 📢📢📢
That aside!
Now, it was in this circus called friendship that I started developing what most of us call 'feelings' for papa Ken.
I realized that I had grown from seeing him as 'sir' (just a fellowship leader), to seeing him as bro (a friend I could connect with).
Now I was at a point where I was beginning to 'feel' that this friendship held more for us but I wasn't so sure, it seemed to me to be one of those random thoughts so I shoved it.
Let me tell you something. There's something called the law of constant contact. It states that whatever you don't like, if you find yourself in a position where you interface with that thing often, over time you will build tolerance for that thing and eventually you will like it. It also applies to people.
If you say you don't like fat girls, and there is this new staff at your place of work who is fat...... Initially you may not notice her, but as time goes on, if your job description and hers is one that needs to intertwine, thereby making you talk and relate with her everyday, as time goes on, you'll find yourself reviewing your preferences.
That's what happened to us. Personally, I never wanted to marry anyone from my fellowship, because I felt the guys there were only good to make heaven, I didn't believe they will make good husbands....lol
My husband on the other hand never wanted to marry a dark lady........ Chai! He never liked dark girls for anything in the world. But here we were, both not liking one thing or the other about each other but constant and consistent interface with open hearts caused life to happen.