After having done all these heart search and answering all these questions, you need to strategize how to make her your friend.
I didn't say it's time to speak to her o😂😂😂 I'm sure you'll be asking yourself how long it will finally take you to get to this babe..... Which kind life..... Who did you offend?
Heheheee......
Relationship needs time o, if you do not have the luxury of time to sink into it, biko concentrate on fulfilling your purpose in life.
It is as time demanding as building a brand or starting a business. The whole process of self search may take 1 month. It could be more, it will be less; depending on how truthful to yourself you're willing to be. The whole friendship period may take another 6 months.... 🤷
It's always thrilling for a lady to discover that the guy had been quietly observing her for a while and had not still made advances. It makes her feel like she's important enough to be understudied, it makes her feel like you're really serious about the love you're professing, that you're responsible and that you have self control.
When I got to know that my husband had been on my matter a long time before he actually made his intentions known, I was chagrined. My respect for him skyrocketed.
I'll still give my tips but before I continue the tips-giving, let me go back to my story.
For ladies, my belly is so full of what to say to you, but allow me concentrate on the guys first, because they are the determinants of the starting point of the relationship.
Actually the role of the lady is as important as that of the guy at the beginning but our brothers must have sense!
Did I hear an Amen!!
So back to our story. I stopped at where I realized that I was beginning to have feelings for papa Ken.
Initially I thought it was a joke o..... You know that moment where you never dreamt of being in a relationship with someone....... Like it never even crossed my mind for one day....... I never saw it coming.... Lol.
I knew I was in for a long thing when I started smiling sheepishly at the thought of him...... Ah.. I came out of my body to look at myself like.. ..😰😰😰..... are you okay?
Hmmmm.......A whole me...... falling for someone? Strong girl like me? Ah!
So I realized that it was real and I became..... should I say unhappy or scared?
The first thought that came to mind was 'how can I be falling for a man of God? A whole papa.......how..... How did I become this carnal?'
See, this thing you are reading and laughing about...... It was a serious matter o. When I couldn't contain it, I had to go into prayers.
I went on a 3 day retreat; prayer and fasting. I was asking God to take away the spirit of lust, to purge me of my flesh. I used to hear stories of how a woman brought about the downfall of a man of God and I was here, about to tow that path ah! God forbid! I didn't taste food or water for 3 days.
Guess what?
Heaven was silent. The same silence that existed when God asked 'whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'
As in for 3 days..... I was seeking the face of God asking him to purge me from the sin of lust and He didn't even answer me.
The silence was so deafening that one would not even hear the sound of a pin that dropped.
On the 3rd day, while I was meditating on how the whole thing started, I heard the voice of my thoughts asking 'if Kenneth should ask you out now, what will you do?'.....hmmmm.....
After 3 days of waiting on the Lord, my flesh is still going back to this matter? I asked myself. Then I began to ask myself questions like. This papa Ken that you're even loving, does he love you too? Isn't he just being the normal him that he has been to other people? There was no special preferences for me.
I remembered how I used to tell ladies not to be carried away by a guy's kind gestures. I'll say it again; see ladies never take his sweetness for love until he says something.
Many ladies have fallen prey of assumed love simply because the guy was nice. In the end you'll hear them say I thought you loved me, if you didn't love me why do you call me 'my dear'? Why do you do this and that for me?...... Aunty did he come directly to you to say 'I love you?' Or 'I would like for us to begin a relationship?'
If no, then why kill yourself over what does not exist. If he hasn't OUTRIGHTLY asked you out, then that relationship doesn't exist.
It is situations like these that would warrant a guy to tell a lady 'I love you with the love of Christ' after walking around with her for 4 years.
So I was scared that I was falling in love with someone who I wasn't even sure had noticed me beyond obvious doubts.
Hmmmmm.....It was a battle o, inside my mind.
As God would orchestrate it, just at that moment, in my dilemma, Esther came into my room and was gisting with me. I can't remember what exactly we were saying but along the line, she said Marvy my brother loves you ooo..... I gave her a 😮😮😮 look and asked her 'what did you say?'
Immediately she knew she had 'jabo' so she tried to retrieve her words, twisting and turning the story to make me believe that she was joking and she didn't mean what she said, after all, she didn't have a biological brother, but there was only one person we both called brother...