I'm so young to be experiencing a total shutdown of love from heartbreaks that some adult haven't gone through before and its sad to think that I can never love anyone not just because I don't want to but I'm scared not go through what I've gone through at my age now ,
the heartbreaks make my heartache really bad and that's why I'm trying not to love anyone that comes in my life for a relationship even if I have a strong feeling for the person I'll just keep her in my friend zone to be honest.
When I'm sad I always inflict pain to them by not telling them I need their help and ghosting them over and over again till I get hold of myself. I always do that because I just want solve my problems alone without anyone helping me out and in that process I hurt some of them ,most especially the ones dear to me and my loved ones.
I place out this character that isn't me to harness the bad energy from within me to pour it out on them, I always feel sorry for myself just as they feel sorry for me and trying to offer help but I'll definitely turn them down because the effects of my heartbreak speaks in away that I would not accept any help from any of my female friend .
Deep down within me I need a help from a therapist but to be honest, I can't open up to anyone with my mouth that's the reason why I write down so many things in my dairy book.
All pictures were taken with an iphone.
Congratulations, your post has been upvoted by @r2cornell, which is the curating account for @R2cornell's Discord Community.