Strategies for Building Confidence

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This past week, I spent some time thinking about the different situations that can lead to poor self-esteem, the ways that a person's perspective is shaped by their past experiences and relationships with others, and the roles that other external factors may play. The reasons behind low self-esteem and the symptoms these feelings can produce are described below:

Sensation of Rejection - I know people who put in a lot of effort throughout their life and never get recognized for it. They hear all the time how inadequate their body, life, or work are. How can these people become confident in themselves as adults? If you were criticized no matter what you did or how hard you tried, it is difficult to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin later on. The feeling of guilt you get from constantly "failing" can be unbearably painful.

Trauma - Psychological, physical, or sexual abuse are among the most visible and obvious causes of low self-esteem. Your self-esteem can suffer when you are forced against your choice into any circumstance because you will begin to hate the world, yourself, and other people. Needless to say, there's a lot going on here at once that you may want to take into account, sort through, or stay away from.

You can feel unworthy as a result of it. Perhaps you tried to take charge of your circumstances by persuading yourself that you were somehow involved or perhaps at blame. When you've developed unhealthy coping strategies to deal with the abuse and the chaos, you may feel, among a million other things, that you are repulsive and obviously shameful.

Parent Not Engaged or Focused - If your family, guardians, or other primary caregivers don't value the things you do, you may feel ignored, forgotten, and unimportant. Motivating oneself to think you deserve more, to want more, and to aim higher can be difficult. Because of your parents' disinterest, you may feel as though no one is interested in you or that you are unaccountable to them, but these are just feelings you carried over from when you were younger.

Competing Authorities - Parents who argue or cause emotional distress to their spouses unknowingly set a poor example for their children, who ultimately internalize these bad feelings and distrusting behaviors. There are times when this is terrifying, overwhelming, and chaotic. This can also occur when a parent acts erratically or is really agitated in front of the child. When you were exposed to too many clashes between authority people, it could have seemed as though you were a part of the uncomfortable situation your parents were in or that the conflicts between them were your responsibility. This feeling of being "tainted" might last until adulthood.

Bullying, that occurs when parents fail to provide their child with support If you had the support of a generally conscious, safe, and caring family, you could have had a better chance of recovering from the harassment and teasing and maintaining your self-esteem. You were continuously overcome with thoughts of loss, hopelessness, and self-loathing if the pain was excruciating outside of your house and you already felt unsafe there. It is also possible to think that everyone in your life is a predator and that you should not put your faith in them. Bullying can have a disastrous effect on one's quality of life and can worsen in the absence of parental support.

Lack of parental support during school, belief systems, culture, the media, and academic challenges could all be additional causes of low self-esteem. Without a doubt, each of these elements plays a part in our poor self-esteem. But it's important to understand that playing any of these roles doesn't mean you have to stick with them as an adult. There are a lot of ways to feel more ready, less broken, and more confident as you go, but they will take different forms and become ingrained in your senses.

When you reflect on your past as an adult, you could discover that the criticism or harsh messages you received weren't always directed at you. Rather they came about as a consequence of the circumstances of those who provided them. Choosing to adopt that perspective can help you mitigate the negative messages you have been exposed to and have created about yourself. Plus, if you know you're not alone in your situation, you could feel less alone and embarrassed of it.