ME TIME- BIRTHDAY ANXIETY

in r2cornell •  10 months ago 

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A lot of people have new year resolutions, the new things they wish to achieve and the old ones they wished they had achieved.
At the core of both the new and old is a goal that needs achievement.

For me I make new year resolutions just like almost everyone, but a large percentage of the time I'm not really worried or serious about them.
The only time I'm seriously worried about how much I've achieved is whenever It's getting close to my birthday(about a month or so). It's almost as if as the days countdown, I can hear the clock ticking towards it.

I then begin to remember that in a few weeks I'll no longer be X years, but X+1 years. It's a nice feeling knowing you survived to celebrate another one, but you suddenly start to remember all the things you wanted to make time for which you didn't.

I enjoy my birthdays even though lately I don't go out, but just stay home, eat and play games.
I've noticed this for about five to six years now that the days before my birthday is what gives me anxiety, so I try fill in the days with things to do.

My birthday is coming up next month and I'm currently in my hometown visiting and spending time with family. It's funny because over the years I've discovered it's the one place that I can be free and easily let go.

I'm not an outgoing person so a lot of times I spend my free time indoors, reading and playing games. But my hometown is the one place where I hardly stay indoors, because everything seems different.

There's a lot to do, things to see. Almost every month there's always a masquerade celebration and it's perhaps one of the most fun thing about my visits.
This time around a new king was recently crowned and they declared a nine month celebration for the masquerades (crazy right).

Even though I'm deathly scared of the masquerades and their long canes(lol, I know I should be embarrassed admitting this), it's still fun watching them from a safe distance.
If I'm not watching the masquerade dance or taking a walk, I'll probably be at the football field having fun with the guys.

I'm not sure about you, but there's really no time to be feeling down with so much fun happening around me.

On the other hand it would've been a completely different scenario if I was at my base where I live and not my hometown.
The only three things that seem to work then are reading, gaming and eating an unusual amount of food.

Reading is something I do of the time, so it's actually gaming and food that helps me deal with emotional stress.
They say the way to the heart of an African man is through his stomach and through good food, and I believe this to be true.

What African man would say no to a big bowl of pounded yam and egusi soup? If he still says no, then his problem doesn't have a solution.

Many times when I'm down I simply go on a night out with my guys, get some good food, engage in banter, and by morning I'm in a good mood again. It's probably one of the only times I consider going out to have fun at night.

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