Well said, bro. May her soul rest in love!
@R2cornell, thank you for being so good to her. 36 years is in some ways a long time, but in others, it was not long enough. Pain is a horrible thing to endure over the long term, and it begins to take on a life of its own. Nobody can fully understand what someone living with chronic pain goes through, but you likely have a very good idea, even though she was not the type to complain about it. I'm so glad she had you with her when things got rough. She surely appreciated your presence and your love. I'm very sorry you lost her, but glad to hear you are comforted knowing she's no longer feeling the agony that plagued her, and that you had a family together, and many joyous memories. I hope you get some relaxation on your time away, and that you ultimately feel nothing but peace. If there's any way she can still be there and watching over you - and I don't claim to know either way - then certainly she is.
Thank you. My time away was what I needed. As a care provider (still am), I needed the time to not have to think of others. I feel much better. The day before I came home my daughter and granddaughter met me and we had a few hours together. Now I am home and feeling better.
Well, that's good to hear. Take as much time as you need. I was a care provider myself, having been a nurse for 10 years, then caring for my dying grandmother for several years. It sounds to me like you did very well. I hope you'll be able to remember the favourite memories you made together, listen to the music you enjoyed together, and miss her in a fond way without too much sorrow. I doubt she would want you to be hurting, but even knowing that, it can be hard not to.