I wanted to give up and leave London. Can I survive?

Living in London is an experience I will live to cherish though it has been one challenge to another. I have so much to say but I will talk generally on my experience. Back in my home country there’s a general notion that whoever travels abroad has made it in life and it will be better for that person but is that the truth?

I wanted to go back

At a point I was confused, depressed and I didn’t know what to do and who to turn to, what will I do ? It was cold, the sunset was setting before 4pm and darkness brought sorrow and pain! It was me my pillow and 1000 questions with zero solutions. London became hell on earth instead of a place I was going to have an amazing life. Dear earth where will I go? Why won’t anyone hire me? What am I doing here? Should I go back? I spent all my life savings on education just to leave empty handed and begin where? The economy in my home country is on a drastic fall of all time, Will I be considered a failure? What will people say? Will I survive the use of voodoo in my culture? Is this the end of the road? Landlord is waiting for his rent ? I haven’t had food, when will the food bank be open for me to get something for the week? Why is life this difficult? Will I end up sleeping under the bridge like people I see there? Why won’t someone say hello to me on the trains? On the bus? Even if I say hello to them? Why are people saying “sorry mate I can’t help you” ? Get the f**k out! Why is everyone so busy and no one wants to listen? What is the way forward and what is here for me?

What makes you a man?

Is this question what I should be asking myself? Should I continue to face all these challenges because they define my character? Whatever happens and whatever is happening is as a result that I am unserious or just not lucky? Dear #blurt I have so many questions.

I didn’t abandon blurt

I was trap compulsive, at a point I started behaving like I had OCD, same thoughts running through my head and so many things happening around me? Should I post on blurt ? Should I continue to shy away from the fact that I have a community that was behind me all the time? What was happening I had no idea! I never left, at a point lost my keys when I had a new phone but was able to get em back. Dear blurt I still love and appreciate you.

To be continued…