This is a process that happens very easily. No matter whatever the situation is we always feel that we are the ones who have been wronged. Very rarely people can cut themselves out of the situation and take a neutral look towards it. Whenever there is a situation we feel that we have done the right things and the other person has a unjustified behavior. It happens all the time in relationships where we believe that our side of the story is justified and with that we get into a victim mode.
There is a saying that to clap you need both hands to clap and make a sound, else there will be no sound, and for relationships also I believe the same, that whenever there is a problem between 2 people then it's always a little of both contributing to it and it's never a one person's job. So then for 1 person to feel victimized is also not a correct attitude. This is one situation, but then there are some people who always stay in this victim mode, they feel that life is always unfair with them, people are always unfair with them, always feeling stuck in life and moreover blaming everyone else for all their problems of life. Such people are dangerous. I know a couple of them and I would always prefer to stay away from them.
One of them is my own cousin and her complaining towards life is never ending. I get scared talking to her, because if you talk to her she complains and if you do not talk to her then too she complains so it's a very tricky situation. She feels that all the possible problems of life have been given to her only and that every one else is living in a la la land. Once in our conversation she was playing the same victim mode and I have had already enough of that, I was not in a very good mood, so I told her very bluntly that she needs to stop playing this victim mode all the time, because other people around her also have problems in life. After that she did not speak with me for a very long time, and I was completely fine with it, because that kind of gave me also a mental relief from her regular cribbing torture.
Now we do talk, but I have set clear boundaries with her which has helped me. That's the best thing to do with such people, the more you listen to them, the more they keep going on and on with their complaints. When you let them know clearly they will understand their limits and keep in control.
I do like to encourage people to be positive and I will give them all assistance but when someone continuously wants to be negative then best is to cut out from that person completely.
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