The Complexities of Choosing Parenthood in Modern Society

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It's a widely held belief in modern society that bearing offspring is one of probably the most exciting and fulfilling decisions one can make. Couples who choose not to plan for children are automatically pitied and presumed to have missed the opportunity to enjoy the immense happiness and delight that accompanies parenthood. Even though someone can decide not to have children and be perfectly happy with that decision, that person is nonetheless viewed as disturbed and given unnecessary contempt and derision.

The basic dynamics around whether or not to have children are modeled in many ways by the way we evaluate and critique a variety of supposedly excellent emotional decisions we make throughout our lives. Making decisions such as getting married, remaining faithful, following reason, or giving in to feelings of passion are highly complex and, surprisingly, differ greatly among individuals.

We develop a strong desire to always make the right decision, a desire that is tempered with the slightly irrational utopian conviction that, once we make this decision, we will prosper and find ultimate happiness there. Of course, the real world is far darker and more fascinating in many respects. A "cost-free choice" is an unreal concept. In this situation, making the best decision is just selecting the option that best fits a range of what I refer to as "sufferings."

Having children comes with certain pains and difficulties. Among many other things, there are the regular letdowns, feelings of remorse, missed chances, and the unbearable notion that you are continuously causing someone else's misery. The absence of children brings with it its own set of problems. The continual reminders from society, loneliness, boredom, and many more things.

The harsh reality that there are no easy solutions is the only thing that can give us comfort. There's definitely a ton of regrets and sadness waiting for you, whether or not we decide to have kids. Perhaps solace might be found in the idea that hardships are inevitable. Ultimately, what ultimately consumes us is not the darkness, but rather the delusion that everything will turn out okay regardless of the decision we choose.

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