When you lose someone close to you, navigating grief takes time. Learn how to recognize your unique grief and how to cope through the stages.
Grief is not the same for everyone. There are stages of grief you experience when dealing with loss, and each person navigates these stages differently. Some people stay in denial or anger, and some people even find comfort in religious faith.
As someone who has experienced loss myself, I know that grief can feel like an obstacle. I want you to understand how to navigate the stages of grief.
- Denial
Denial can be a useful coping mechanism for a lot of reasons. It gives you time to think about how you feel. It allows you to acknowledge your feelings without acting on them. In fact, it's a pretty common response to loss.
Denial is useful if you want to give yourself some time to process the loss, figure out what you need, and think about your future. You don't necessarily need to talk to anyone about your loss; however, sometimes you'll need some time to process before making plans.
I remember a time when my mom told me that I needed to spend a year alone in a cabin to process my grief. I was 17, and I didn't understand why she thought I needed to take a year off. To her, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
- Anger
Anger is also common after loss. It's a normal feeling. However, if you let your anger fester, it's going to become destructive.
It's important to understand that you are not your grief. It's normal to be angry about the loss, but you need to separate yourself from your feelings.
After you have lost someone, it's likely that you're going to feel some combination of sadness, guilt, frustration, and anger. As time passes, you might start to feel some other emotion, but it's okay to feel them.
- Bargaining
I've talked with people who think bargaining is a way to win your loved one back. Bargaining with the universe doesn't work, but bargaining with a loved one does.
If you find yourself in a place of bargaining, it's a sign that you need to move on. You are bargaining with your emotions rather than your situation.
- Depression
Depression is another stage that's common in grieving. Most people experience some form of depression when they lose someone. The reason it's so common is that you are essentially mourning the end of a chapter in your life.
Depression can go along with grief, or it can come up on its own. People who have experienced depression are often very good at recognizing signs of their own symptoms.
Depression feels similar to grief, but it's different. It's much more serious, and it lasts longer. You should try to avoid depression. It's not normal, and it's not healthy.