Many of us have expectations about the way we'll feel, do, or become in different situations. We may be especially excited about the possibility of starting a new job, moving to another town, or getting married. However, these hopes and dreams can quickly turn into feelings of dread when the reality of daily life sets in. Here are some ideas about how to think through your expectations so that they're more realistic.
Your expectations may be unrealistic. For instance, if you've always wanted to be tall and slim, you may have unrealistic expectations about how much work it will take to achieve those goals. If you want to have a bright future, you should realistically consider what obstacles may be in front of you. You might not be able to reach your goals for a variety of reasons, but this doesn't mean that you have to accept that this is going to be a permanent part of your life.
Your expectations may make you feel uncomfortable in certain situations. If you anticipate being rejected when applying for a job or trying to date someone new, these expectations may make you feel as though life will be a lot less fun than it could be. On the other hand, if you think that you'll have many opportunities to meet new people and have wonderful relationships, these expectations could lead to disappointment. Sometimes it's easier to change your expectations than to change your circumstances!
Your expectations may not match your reality. If you have an expectation that is larger than what is realistic, this can make a living as you expect life to be more difficult than it really is. For example, if you expect to be able to make a lot of money in a very short period of time, you may spend a lot of time and energy worrying about money. On the other hand, if you have a reasonable expectation that things will only occasionally change, you may put too much energy into being happy and positive and not enough focus on making a profit.
These types of unrealistic expectations can cause stress and set you up for disappointment. Instead of living life as you desire, you may become depressed, frustrated, anxious, and eventually stressed out. Even if you don't suffer from serious depression or other mental health problems, you may become tense and anxious about everything because you are disappointed.
Your expectations may also be unrealistic because they conflict with how you really respond to situations. Sometimes you'll react forcefully to what you don't want. For example, if you don't want to waste time waiting in line, you'll simply move on. However, if you think that waiting in line is an acceptable way to waste time, you'll likely resist doing so, thinking that you'll be inconvenienced if you don't get in line immediately.
Your expectations may also be unrealistic because they conflict with how you see yourself. If you think that you're not good enough to attract people or have good relationships, your expectations may be unrealistic. You might think that you don't deserve to have the relationships or the success that you desire, or that you can't ever have those things. Or, you might think that you're not a good person because you feel undesirable, unwanted, or unappealing. Either of these expectations will likely conflict with how you truly feel about who you are.
The best way to set realistic expectations is to figure out what you want out of life first. Do you want to be a happy, successful person? Then you'll probably want to have realistic expectations about how your life will be like in order to experience happiness and success. Being a happy, successful person doesn't mean living a sheltered life, it just means that you are focused on achieving your goals and not on the outcome of your goals. Once you know what it is that you want from your life, then you'll be able to better understand your expectations and how you can realistically fulfill them.
